Learn to live consciously!
that is why parents unconsciously destroy their children.
today I would Like to touch on the topic of how people unconsciously destroy each other. And to do it even very close people, who did not wish evil to others. Among them often become our parents, spouses, brothers and sisters, friends.
this Happens usually under the guise of friendly conversation. Let's consider such situation on the example of the parent-child relationship. Parent – mom or dad – maybe not given the age characteristics of the minor child, to share any information that, in his opinion, it is not dangerous. And another is such that the parents are overwhelmed with emotions: resentment, injustice, anger, rage, resentment from events that happen to them during the day. And they, perceiving the child as an equal, in the literal sense of the word "dumped" - child information, which is difficult to digest even for an adult. The parent is unable to cope with his anxiety and pain and subconsciously puts their anxiety, fears in the "emotional container" of the child, which itself requires a strong and stable adult. In this case, the parent takes responsibility for their actions and are not aware of what consequences this may entail.
unfortunately, this behavior can be the invasion of the fragile and immature psyche of the child. He has a psychosomatic illness, apathy, anxiety, fears, laziness, anger, falling grades at school. The child does not have enough resources and energy to live life to the full, and in addition to this, he begins to fear for adults. There are children who begin to engage in the life of their parents and control them for the reason that they lose their own sense of security and stability. They intuitively understand that adults can not cope with the situation.
the Reason for this is that such parents are not Mature enough individual, their psyche is fragile and can not withstand the stress that occurs in their lives. This is especially true of appalling emotional stress: stress, unreasonable expectations, which are usually accompanied by anxiety, fear, aggression, feelings of anger, frustration, sadness. As a result the person shifts to the child the feelings that he himself can not cope, and uses its resources. So without realizing it, the parent is detrimental to your loved one that even he needs the support of mom or dad. Shifting roles: in such situations, children become the parents, so as a parent he is the child's position.
the Solution in this case will be the strategy of self-development and maturation. It is important to learn to take responsibility and show true concern about the emotional side of the lives of our loved ones. For this you can ask yourself simple questions before you share with them this or that information. Try to divide this information into two types: destructive and developmental, and ask yourself: "why am I sharing it with other people?". This question will help you to honestly look at your motives and goals. Analyze answers to the following questions:
"How will this information help my child in life, whether it is useful for him or destroy his emotional stability?"
"does he have Enough energy and strength to withstand it?"
"And after this information it will be to cope with your life?"
"he has his own feelings, what he will be if to add to them my experiences and my personal pain?"
in addition, the mental condition of the child followed by his physical health, different experiences can cause disease of the body. It happens when the human psyche can no longer cope, and connects our body – hence, there are various psychosomatic illnesses. However, a conscious approach to such situations and taking care of our loved ones can prevent such problems.
With care,
author Elena Larina.
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