Today at the store I was attacked by Bauska. Stand something stare, waddles up close to me almost someone female, judging by the long skirt, and from there side I hear: "are You crazy...?!". Starts to "stink". The fact that my height is 181 cm and I am very slim build, even I was in short skirt and knee socks. I always catch the eye because of this your physique. Well and then there's the short skirt, and socks. In General, it is impossible not to notice. But for all the unusual people react in accordance with the internal culture, loyalty, flexibility, goodwill and interest, fears and behavior, etc.... And here I am, probably like anyone else, can tell about their observations on the matter, because the status of "unusual" I from the first days that I can remember from kindergarten.
Grandmother, apparently, failed to pass in silence. She wasn't like the decrepit old lady who thinks badly or suffering from dementia. She was presentable, full of energy, smart in a hat and makeup. Such business and arrogant, energetic, and sooo serious. She burst into claims that I don't like this, that I have "terrible knees", and she "purely feminine shame," and I need to hide my legs and something else. She acted as if we were sitting in the kitchen, not strangers. I tried to make it clear that the debate will fail, but Madame only took away more and more, she didn't give or anything to say. We have separated, and she moved almost cry, so I guess the shop floor have studied this monologue. Then I "pulled in by the current" and I yelled: "shut your mouth, hamley". In response came: "Oh Yes, whoooooo yayayayaya...". All, no longer had any words.
All my childhood I listened to here such comments about the fact that I was scared that in time, people to sugar, and how much I should eat, too, you know all except me (although more than 20 years I suffered from gluttony, but the facts do not matter, all just experts). Even taking into account that I grew up in a small town – this means that you, like all other citizens, "at a glance". Of course, to 18 years self-esteem was not to hell. I started to dress 10 tights, painted so that from a living face no more see anything. I was terribly ashamed of myself. Then more and more began to notice that male attention around rife. But the shame still sat inside.
Adult I have found that many men like appearance – thin women teen type. But I'm in the process of growing hammered into his head that I'm ugly alien, which antenna may be growing out of your head, or heel – a sense of their complete inadequacy. So, if a woman of this type as I have a chance to exit normally married, have a baby, why put any ideas in her head that something's wrong? Or we will pass this question to grandma: why would I want to sit in a dark corner and cry, consider yourself miserable and ashamed of your body?
When people just climb in someone else's life, they do not realize even for a moment, what terrible role in shaping someone else's destiny they may take, just throwing a few words. I don't have that walking-then my husband and he actually told me the mini skirt to put, therefore, whether all so is sad, as the grandmother said? It turns out, my husband satisfied, but this is not important, it is necessary to adapt to the grandmother?
These people believe that they have the right to:
- to Interfere in someone else's life
- to Underestimate someone else's self-esteem
- to Provide moral, and in some cases physical pressure
Why do they do it:
All of the reasons in a short text will not drive, will announce one of them - it's position – I have the right to demand from the people, without thinking of the consequences, regardless of the situation "from above" – not considering all the factors, someone else will and someone else's emotional sphere. In fact, it is the children's position, by the way of psychopaths – people not passed its self to the point where he begins to feel responsibility for what he is doing, beginning to understand that the inner world of another person is a completely different another reality. The reality is that we should not meddle, not studying, and generally should not meddle... to Do it yourself, not others.
basically, lack of development is associated with depleted emotionally and intellectually environment in which a child grows and child trauma. If we recall the Soviet and post-Soviet times, the life, upbringing, it becomes clear that the potential for injuries and imbalances in the development of the gracious nowhere. It is impossible, on the one hand, to blame these people – they have perhaps his difficult childhood and the past. On the other hand, we must call a spade a spade, and in this case it is a serious violation of boundaries. And it must be remembered that the injured person can not hurt.
don't let other people spoil your life!
to Convince you that you have to live poorly or for the sake of others, or even to sit in a dark closet and suffer. In my example, we can consider how objective these statements are. Yes, it so happens that the person is not there, start talking to him about it, and he can't hear. Well then, everyone should have the right to make mistakes and draw their own conclusions in the end, it's his life, and he told her to dispose of as it sees fit. But when in your life into some street audience, or your mothers and grandmothers, and begin to peddle something to you then it will only get worse.... And beat yourself heel in the chest that they are right and know the real truth. It is likely we are talking about the exact position of the child, and the man is not peculiar to see something beyond their own fence. In his statements is rational, the authority of the "speaker" is very exaggerated by himself, confidence is based on a large subconscious fear to lose and be right.
you can Safely not care about all this "pressure" is right, and to do as they see fit. And educated decisions should be sought from the experts, in books, or have friends who could really solve this problem. Not the relatives that gnawed each other, were divorced all got sick nervous, and now I go and tell you such a husband will leave, you can not, can not, who do you need, etc.
If you listen to such people and do as they say, what will become of your life – what has become of their life? They will get better from this? No, they will remain the same irritable and angry (they have not learned to solve their own challenges like children who can't take responsibility, they feel bad about unresolved issues, but I think they are that bad to you – you irritate them, such as the type of mentality it is difficult to distinguish where their feelings, and where the surrounding reality, causes and consequences of their reactions, etc.). Why do you ask? To fulfill other people's CHILDREN's whims.
!
