"In my childhood, I was fed, clothed, I had everything. And now everything is there, and my own apartment, and work... Why is that bad? I guess I'm just ungrateful."
I often hear on the sessions. Patients do not understand why they are so bad, after all "good." Well in the opinion of others, and in their own perspective.
They are well dressed, they have a good job, have need of nothing. How can we go to complain about your pain? Because you do not like a disabled person, no you are not dead, look at you and the car there, and on vacation you go.
In their childhood there was no hunger, war, poverty. Always dinner was ready, they were dressed in clean clothes, went to school, lived.
And now they adults people, and all they have is "good", "safe", and they can't figure out why so much pain. Like objective reasons for this.
"take care of me, took me to a music school, clubs, parents hired Tutors, I went to the best University... I Have relatives, friends, I'm fine, but why so unbearable, lonely, depressed...".
"I had a normal childhood, in the summer at the grandmother in village, then in the city with my parents, I had my own room, toys, Hobbies. So many parents have done for me, and now I'm acting...".
the Mind cannot catch hold of the specific reasons.
it is clear, for example, that you're sick, then you're not. Fired, left without money, bad. And it's clear that you feel bad. And everything is so bad.
So, something is wrong with you. And starts, self-blame and self-criticism.
This assent and the surrounding. "I guess you just can't appreciate what you have." "Look around you: the sky is blue, you're healthy, hands and feet on the ground, enjoy life, you have everything ahead".
And then in therapy, it turns out that everything was but love is not enough.
the child receives all the outward concern: it is properly fed, clean and nicely dressed, on time put to sleep, driving in circles in the clinic, but something in the history is not enough. Warm contact, hugs, affection, sincerity and openness, support, emotional care...Love.
It did not feel, she's not as tangible as food, but it is also "food", food for the soul. Man needs not only external care, but he really needs love to live and grow.
because you Can be hungry, not only literally, but you can be hungry for love. And love the hunger cannot be quenched with food, only the warm presence of another.
And this is just not enough...
!
