Important question relating to respect and recognition or, respectively, to the disrespect and lack of recognition by parents of the subjectivity of the child is the question of his professional determination in life.
I would not highlight this issue (and it is, in fact, can be a problem, that is, to have a negative impact on child) are a combination of the factors characterizing the psychological situation in the family. In fact, the desire of the parents (or one of them) to impose on the child their will in regard to his professional career, is never "monosymptomatic", and is accompanied by other things that make parent-child relationships in the family deviating from favorable.
Postmodern plays with parents seriously thinking about the fate of their children, "against the rules". What could be more impermanent in a constantly and rapidly changing world than the profession? We don't know what new will happen for a while, until we close our eyes tonight and open them in the morning. So what can we expect from the 5 years between enrolling a child in the University and its ending?
back in 2010 Darren Aronofsky film "Black Swan". It would seem that since so much has changed... But the truth is, time beyond. So, I think this movie like no other, best suited to illustrate what I would like parents to warn. The plot of the film briefly can be described as a ballerina slowly going mad during a production of "Swan lake". Very dramatic story. And shot with great accuracy. So, unfortunately, it happens in life. This is what we, psychoanalysts observed in the clinic when patients come to us, completely disoriented, devoid of support, do not understand themselves and others suffering. In this film we see the mother of the main character. And it sheds light on what's going on with Nina (the name of the dancer).
From the first frames we are horrified that Nina lives her life not. Nina's mother is a failed ballet star whose career ended with the birth of his daughter. No, the mother does not put this character in a rebuke, instead she continues her career through her own daughter. Nothing exceptional here, yet many parents, you probably know not a single example of this, try to realize their own youthful dreams through the lives of their children. Nina's mother in this, however, has succeeded: her daughter her completely subordinated.
of Course, this is an extreme case. Fortunately, not all parents who think they are better than your own child you know what he wants in life, totally in control. This leaves the possibility of hope that this child will not become a patient of the clinic for the mentally ill. So. Because only the recognition by parents of the subjectivity of the child is the key to mental health.
However, the recognition of subjectivity is not tantamount to indulging the child in all his desires. Recognition of subjectivity is the respect for the child and enforcing the boundaries in communication. This should be based parenting and if you want a friendly mentor, guide, tips. To give the child the opportunity to learn, to see, to try... And to agree with its choice.
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