Quite often in therapy clients come and clients the belief that their body is something wrong: low rise, not the color of the hair, small Breasts, not the shape of the nose or lips, excess weight, and so on - and this physical flaw they see because their relationship with the opposite sex does not add up.
For the sake of simplicity, I will write about the woman who worried about the fact that she had small Breasts, but the same is true for other "shortcomings" of men and women.
And I accidentally took the word "flaws" in quotes because even if a woman with such conviction and meets men for whom her "flaw" is a virtue, and many of men like women with small breast is her reassures.
such stories and will be my article: when even a direct confirmation that her "flaw" is its advantage - not helped to change her attitude.
Why a positive result is not persuaded?Because "small Breasts" is probably a valid reason for the belief that their body is not all right.
Often, these beliefs about yourself flimsy. So what is the true reason?
Imagine the following situation:
the Girl constantly gets from his father's negative messages: verbal and nonverbal - you're in my way, I don't need you, go away, do not disturb, and so on.
And in this situation she can't understand: why, what's wrong with her and at some point she decides that the reason her body that her body is something wrong. This is especially true when dad wanted a boy and it is constantly non-verbal, and often verbal, translates daughter.
Then, as a teenager, she unconsciously chooses young people who treat her as well as her father - and her beliefs about what happened to her, with her body that something wrong is with respect to confirmation.
And when she decides that the reason that men to her attitude - her small Breasts is on the one hand, brings her inner pain, on the other hand, it brings relief because she now knows what reason - the size of her Breasts, and then her when I grow up, can change that with the help of surgery.
that is why it is so important to faith in the belief that the cause of her problems with men the size of her Breasts, because if not, then she would have to face in helpless anger and despair from a misunderstanding of the reasons for this rejection, which is the belief it protects.
And what will happen if she grows up and they put the implants will change her relationship with men?
most Often - no - and then she has a choice - to either choose a different "reason", for example, "little priest" or "thin lips" - or to begin work with a psychologist and find the true cause: relationship with father in childhood.
Here is one of possible and frequently used in the treatment of the reasons of inner conviction that with the body that something is wrong and in this case, the relationship with the father are the actual cause of the problems in relations with the opposite sex.
If this article was useful for you - subscribe to my newsletter where I share new articles!
Author: psychologist Eugene Korchmarek
the Article on my website:
I Have small Breasts - so men do not pay attention to me.
!
