In my personal experience everyone knows that not every member of the opposite sex lead to a relationship. Often this is because men and women, boys and girls, make mistakes, leading to the breakdown of relationships. Of course, not everyone is well versed in the psychological subtleties of gender relations. Therefore, I suggest a short walk through the stages of birth and relationships to address those mistakes, then they did not commit.
Sympathy and familiarity
Any romantic relationship between a man and a woman begins with mutual sympathy. She encourages them to show interest and familiarity with each other. One of the partners takes the first step to acquaintance, does not matter. However, traditionally it is believed that the initiative must come from men.
At this stage, the partners formed the first impression about each other, begins to take shape image and an emotional response from my partner. The first impression will not only be decisive in the decision about the continuation of Dating. It will direct all to follow the process of knowing each other.
If the primary image was formed in a positive way, then the partner will automatically focus on the positive qualities of a new acquaintance. Negative manifestations of behaviour and character traits are likely to be small.
with respect to a negative first impression, however, not led to the desire to abandon the experience will reinforce the tendency to focus new friend on the shortcomings of the partner. Positive displays of behavior and character traits are likely to be considered as random, uncharacteristic of this man, sideways in time.
So in order to sympathy and familiarity were more likely to develop into a relationship, it is important to take care of the first impression that partners are to each other from the first minute Dating.
the First crisis of comprehension
Sometimes acquaintance and the beginning of a relationship separates a certain time period long from 2 days to several weeks. At this time, as a rule, one of the partners is a wait, and the second ponders the question of whether to continue the acquaintance. Sometimes, a wait is both. Women are often guided by accepted social stereotypes that the initiative needs to be man it. Man can wait for the initiative from the women, when in doubt about what sparked her interest. More precisely, fearing to make the first move and be rejected, in order to avoid negative emotional experiences in this regard.
Courtship and convergence
When the first doubt is overcome, starts the courtship period. Traditionally it is called the "honeymoon period”. Man and woman at this stage seek to please each other. They demonstrate their best qualities, share their stories, emphasizing their advantages and characterizing their best side. With the strengthening of the sympathy of the intensity of the communication increases. Both would like to spend more time together, sometimes at the expense of other important issues and concerns.
At this stage, overly zealous in seeking to please the partner, the relationship can only spoil. First, the fact that boasting and bravado, usually perceived negatively. Secondly, the crossing of the event in terms of the desire of men to reduce the distance to a minimum, can cause women emotional discomfort and the desire of women to avoid communion with him.
the Second crisis of comprehension
Over time, the nervous system, overloaded with bright and intense emotional experiences, “includes” mechanism, protecting it from overloads.
On an emotional level partners feel some emotional fatigue of each other. Starting to feel the need to reduce communication to a minimum, but not to interrupt it completely. The frequency of contacts between partners begins to decline. Their meetings become more rare. Communication using different gadgets is also reduced. The interaction is observed a certain coldness and aloofness.
This detachment from the partner gives you the opportunity to emotionally distance themselves from him. And since the emotional background is reduced, in the foreground starts to get rational. Relationship enter into another crisis of rethinking and assessment of a partner.
the crisis rethinking – very important for any relationship. Its successful passage translates in a couple to a new level of emotional and spiritual closeness. At the same time, at this stage, one partner may choose the wrong tactics of behavior, which eventually will either lead to the breakdown of relationships, or greatly complicate them. The problem arises from the fact that the interval between the beginning of the relationship and the onset of the second stage of doubt can be very different and not coincide in time both.
Very often, when one partner, this stage has already occurred, and the second not yet, the past begins to fear for the relationship. He is looking for reasons of the cooling of relations, attempts to clarify relationships, demands to communicate also as it was in the beginning of acquaintance, blame the partner, lack of attention to themselves etc. in Other words, the second partner interferes with the first pass through the stage of rethinking quietly, forcing our company upon him and his person.
As practice shows, if one of the partners has not lived rethinking of the relationship fully, he will be late from time to time to return to it throughout the years.
it Should also pay attention to the fact that each of the partners shall enter into a new relationship with his life history and previous relationship experience with the opposite sex. Often in the past had a place of frustration, resentment, severe emotional distress. They cause the birth of mistrust towards members of the opposite sex, alertness in their attitudes, fear and experience negative experience again with a new partner. Sensitive, emotional nature can be generated entomophobia – a fear of intimacy. It is at the stage of rethinking from men and women can engage protective mechanisms shaped by previous negative experience and designed to protect their psyche from further shocks.
Experience a traumatic previous relationship may start the partner and other protective mechanism, manifested in the desire to show themselves with the worst hand. In detail this feature of the behavior described in the article "Such as I am, I couldn't love you”. You can read it here.
Misunderstanding is an ideal partner those fears and doubts that seize the throne at this stage of the relationship, demand attention, accusations, insults and other manifestations of attempts to pressure him, only exacerbate the concerns of the first and, most likely, will be the impetus for the breakup.
the Convergence and the desire to be the one for partner
having Successfully overcome the second crisis of doubt and rethinking, the couple goes out for a deeper dive into the relationship. At this stage, partners begin to move toward greater emotional and spiritual intimacy. Just at this time, emerging affection for your partner. If the relationship continues without major emotional turmoil associated with misunderstandings, that can escalate into marriage.
the Stage of convergence is characterized by another important feature of the development of relations. The partners have a desire to be the one to elect. It manifests itself in the appearance of being jealous of friends, family, colleagues, former partners, with whom relations are maintained, the elect. Particularly acute jealousy covers partner when his “other half” talks or even pays attention to members of the opposite sex. Jealousy often occurs even to the former partner's passions, even if he had severed all ties. In other words, at this stage, a man and a woman want to be the only object of attention of the elect, be the focus of his life.
of Course, if this desire manifests itself in the frequent quarrels, the quarrels, accusations, insults, is a major obstacle to emotional and spiritual closeness. At the same time, this stage has a paradoxical, seemingly, time. If the partner does not show jealousy and does not require an exclusive relationship, his"second half" may doubt that his elect need it. In other words, dosed jealousy and requirement of attention contribute to the strengthening of relations in the pair.
of Course, this stage also has a final. At the end of the relationship is coming back to the emotional “calm”. However, they are characterized by greater depth, affection, trust.
In General, any long-term relationship stages of emotional outbursts and cooling, exclusion, pass with surprising regularity. Another crisis in relations comes after about 1.5-3 years after Dating. Developing a spiral, successfully overcoming the crisis stages, the relationship deepening and strengthening more and more. At the same time, and crises are experienced more deeply, increasing the risk of a rupture of relations.
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