a Frequent request from clients at consultations is a complex relationship with her husband or regular partner. Bright beginning of a relationship, love, desire regular communication with changes on the alienation and misunderstanding. Both partners start to avoid it, reduce it to a minimum, and often suffer from hoarding a bunch of mutual resentment.
knowledge of the situation of the relations in question to the client: "What is your relationship with your husband?", answer: "I live with him for the sake of the children", "we have a common property," "suffer it for the money". Often there are complaints: "it does not help with household chores", "no common interests", "lets communicate with her friends." The client starts to suffer in silence, to restrain himself and his emotions. As a result, the partner moves away, communication with them is going to low and there is discord in the relationship and do not want any interference, including sexual.
it Often happens that the client I talk a lot about their expectations of a partner, which he doesn't. In these stories we hear a lot of resentment. We begin to understand that they are offended. And to the question: "As a partner know about Your desires?", the answer, in fact which means: "He needs to guess."
In a pair is harmony if both partners declare their desires and needs and these needs are met. Their customers I recommend to discuss the scope of permissible intrusion into their lives by a partner. Insist on good relation. In situations when the partner offends with his words or actions is sure to give him a reaction, communicate that You are uncomfortable, poorly in these circumstances and not be silent and go offense.
the Most difficult situation in relationships, when one partner turns to the other and a response to the unwillingness to maintain a dialogue. Client complains that its attempts to "reach out" to her husband, she often hears the same thing: "Enough!" or is he just gets up and leaves, aggressive reaction partner, already entrenched as a pattern of relations.
What you can try to do in such a situation? First of all, try to change your attitude to the husband more positive. Try to find situations in which a man commits endorse your actions and pay attention to them. To praise, to tell him words of encouragement that you see these actions and appreciate his efforts. For example, if he makes the repair, you can say, "I love how you hung Wallpaper (laid laminate flooring, painted walls)". Playing with baby: "I am pleased to see you gather together a designer". Any positive response to his address usually calls in response to the same positive reaction.
In the client practice work well techniques of Gestalt therapy, psychodrama, in which you can play the situation of the dialogue "exchange of roles". In this dialogue the client can stay in the role of partner and better understand his responses.
