Faced in practice with the curious behavior of one woman. I'll call her "M". br>
I can not solve your issue until you take it to the top
— Like this? br>
— Any, even the trifling question, not resolved at mid-level or Junior personnel that are, in fact, for this work and to provide consulting services to, for example, Windows. But I have them misunderstanding, even conflict, and I have to go higher, the guide to my needs and requirements were met. In the end, realised I can only be a superior people, all the questions have answers, my problem is solved. And so in all spheres of life. br>
the question Arises — what a woman does with her life? br>
on the one hand, it is a narcissistic behavior. The personification of himself with the image of the Grand man, are not able to perceive "ordinary people" to descend to their level of thinking, to consider their humanity , dignity, and naturalness. br>
And who is Narcissus? This man is injured. Narcissistic injury is a trauma of rejection since childhood. To reject the child, sometimes one glance is enough and he will be alone there, "inside". This man shamed, frightened. Took only attractive side, where it is "good", did not give the right to be wrong, forbidden to cry, to show weakness. br>
Considering M... with a human hand, no stamps and flares, I ask myself the question — " what she needs?" All the situations happening with her, bring in her life fuss, trouble, discomfort. What in her life was that she now had to overcome a lot of tension and resistance in order to succeed. br>
Asking her about her life, it became clear that M, cold, unreachable mother, which is difficult to reach, there is no understanding for many years, frequent conflicts, ending with the decision not to communicate with each other, in the end, "the iron curtain", the mother to daughter is not available and, as if there is no possibility of meeting. In childhood M... was supposed to be just a student, no quadruples, and triples, God forbid. The Institute is obliged necessarily to finish with honors, marry rich, etc Here are installation. One chance... to be accepted, understood, loved is to be "perfect". But it does not happen. br>
Man wins back their failed relationship. Which is clearly a psychological trauma. The same, the trauma of rejection. Head have one? — the authoritative person, the person who is more other employees, has the authority, can order. The same power is granted to parents of young children. Want to kindergarten will give, I want to shout, order want to regret, reward, want rejected. Here is the link — head — parent. br>
So what makes a M...? Trying to reach those most inaccessible to parents and to satisfy their need to be accepted and understood, even if it's not perfect. She's unhappy and uncomfortable in the moment, when requires a meeting with the boss. As a result the person "on the throne" takes its claim, does as she wants and not someone else. Thereby regaining the right to be themselves. br>
Sometimes, looking at M... I want to say to her: "my Dear, poor girl, you must be tired all the time to meet everyone's expectations. You have every right to demand support and love, even if you're wrong, even if you're uncomfortable, even if between you and the other person in the conflict, you still have the right good attitude, you have the right to be yourself, to be different, not perfect, weak, defenseless, ignorant, unable, confused, dull, stupid. Then people will have the opportunity to get close to you, to be with you, to regret, to support, to comfort, to love. You just let me, let yourself be yourself. Mom can no longer run your life, you've grown, you ... br>
With love, Alexandra Grebenkina.
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