Recently I was preparing for the speech at the conference on the theme: "the Role of family in preventing addiction among minors". As a family systemic psychotherapist began to study this issue from different authors and here are gathered some information which I wanted to share with You.
Previously, the influence of the family (preverbal level of the lesion).
According to the American expert in the field of psychology and psychiatry, Sullivan (Salcianu) mother has a psychological impact of the child on the child on a nonverbal (wordless) level immediately after birth. This so-called "stress anxiety" is transmitted from mother to child. The author shares his observations and associates it with the communication on the empathic level.
Empathy – setting, recognition of human emotional state without verbal descriptions on an intuitive level.
Emotional stress and anxiety is transferred from mother to infant depriving him of a sense of security in the immediate environment. Mother directly to be with the child, feeds it, swaddles, takes him in her arms. Her anxiety with them, it is not going away. An infant can not itself be free from it. And on the other side and the mother he needed because it is food and safety.
the Only way to help here is the removal of anxiety in the mother. So this decision situation, which drive her to the trouble.
the climate in the family is important for both mother and child.
Direct influence of the family system (verbal injury). Is an Association between family upbringing and the types of destructive behavior.
Hyper. Exaggerated, the petty care of children. Children are surrounded with attention and occupy the main place in the family. Children are not given the opportunity to make decisions, to act independently, to cope with difficulties, overcome obstacles. If the child that had started to do, he immediately help. What sound comments "you", "let me help you", "come on, I'm going to ruin everything". Parent or relative – a "prosthesis". Sometimes the purpose of the mother to bind the child to himself, to make him dependent. Children do not learn to overcome difficulties and meet them in real life suffer defeat and failure. This leads to self-doubt and persistent feelings of inferiority. This complex is expressed in low self-esteem, mistrust of their abilities, the fear of any difficulties in life. This is even in adult life people are not able to admit even to himself. Triggered a psychological protection as the displacement. One way of such protection is "thinking desire," an emotional logic, a fantasy, living in a fantasy world where problems are solved on a wave of a magic wand. There are dreams of own exclusiveness.
Presentation of the exorbitant demands. Is a completely different type of education. From children need order, discipline, strict fulfillment of their duties. With child how to ask an adult. It seems that the child grows up independent and that's good. In fact, the requirements for the child are prohibitive. Necessary to mobilize all its capabilities and mental and physical. Expect success is an end in itself. In this type of education has several goals is to increase the importance of the parent in society, "prestige" of it. On the other hand, it can be freeing yourself from the responsibilities and the transfer of their child (caring for younger children, tidy the apartment). According to research of authors of this type creates an increased risk of parenting in those cases where the emphasis is on the "rate the leader" - the child should study well and win the Olympics. Favorite activities of children are not recognized depreciate hobby, violated intimate interpersonal relationships. The family is dominated by material values. Parents unable to show love to each other and including children. Is a shortage of communication skills and "fear of failure".
There is another type of family "styleshee" that will not make the child wrong (Nakken, 1988). Such a child is not praised for five (as it should be). The family reigns a constant voltage, the members of the family may be a long time not to talk to each other. Punished by silence (parents do not communicate with them). Children live in emotionally safe, and even alarming situation. They have incentive to useful activities, avoid contact and don't trust people. Just here comes the expression "dog is man's best friend". They are friends with the animals and communicate with them.
such a child det delay the development of personality, extremist and diametrically opposite approaches to life (slave and unlimited power). This is the primordial duality of propositions in one and the same person. In relation to people with power they are slaves, in relation to the slave despotism. Or children with chronic blame to parents, school and society. They blame all the misfortunes so far family and friends. Consider yourself "bad".
Parenting with unpredictable emotional reactions. we are Talking about parents who are prone to sudden changes of mood and attitude towards children. A change of attitude is due to inner feelings of a parent and has no relation to the behavior of children. It may be a parent with a borderline personality organization with causeless and sudden changes of mood. This negatively influences children, one and the same act may be punished and affection (double impulse). Children become insecure and dependent behavior of the parent. This uncertainty becomes a character trait. They are not stable in interpersonal relationships. They sleep the end of the gap, they are not stable in relationships and marriage later in life. They are on the background of complete well-being can go into conflicts, breaks. It's kind of the nature of avoidance (defense).
Hiphopera. Is insufficient attention to the children. Can be hidden Hypo-care. In this case, it is particularly important to the education of disadvantaged and single-parent family. Of particular importance is education in the family alcohol, drugs, and parents. Children are left to themselves, are often not provided with even the necessities. With family can often be scandals and fights, quarrels. Children are afraid to be at home, prislushivayutsya as the father opens the door (running or not). With this type of education is typical of the wound exposing children to surfactants (alcohol, toxic substances, cigarettes). In children is the delayed development of personality, formed the spiritual sphere, restricted interests. There's the addiction more than attractive.
If addict parents, the risk of codependency in children finds the owl's expression at the last stage, when they become adults and live their lives. It is believed that these types of addicts have their own language (they use to identify each other without words). In simplified form it looks like. If the father addict, the mother takes sasivimol to him. She was not able to take the care of the children as a whole is fixed on the addictive problems of his father. Then the child or addict or codependent.
If you have minors who are on the path addicting behavior, it is necessary to consider not only his customer but also his whole family system (family) and we cannot ignore their part in his addiction. Prevention of addictive implementations is primarily the correction of education in the family, understanding and awareness of the problems parents.
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