To start background:
Anxious type of attachment formed in case of unpredictable child behaviour mother: if she rejects, it brings, if it is for one and the same action can one praise a child, and at other times to punish, which in one day consistently reacts to the other may long be ignored, lost in itself. This is often due to personality disorders mother, her instability, anxiety, insecurity or emotional instability. But sometimes, attempts to be "right" on the study of different concepts of education and make mom be unpredictable. That is dangerous and alarming.
Mother the most important person in the life of the maturing of the individual through whom he learns the relationship in principle. He has no choice relations, not knowledge and experience about them in principle, therefore, the first experience becomes a pattern for life.
as a result, such behavior of the mother the child takes the format of instability as the norm and unconsciously her even as for adults.
Relationships for people always involve a strong sense of anxiety. They are sensitive to any criticism (and suddenly fell out of love?), looking for the catch, I doubt the feelings of a partner. Yes, the question "do you love me?" at 150 times per day — just this type of attachment. br>
of Course, living in such a world, people spend a lot of forces trying to Orient, to understand the coordinate system and make all-around predictable and stable. These people are trying to consider all possible options to avoid accidents; fear of the new, cling to the old and familiar; trying to insure and recheck. Vexed and bitter, that attempts to hold on to, to cling to a partner so stifled that they are forcing the other to abandon such connections.
In varying degrees, we all have anxiety, no mother was perfectly responsive. But to a certain common level is considered minor anxiety.
Another thing is as Just as a person, I know... 11 years, i.e. 18 years, and the history of life occasionally unfolds in front of me. Years later, the first theory of the formation of the psyche, and then practices that allow us to understand that as critically high anxiety at almost a perfect external data. the
Relationship with her mother wore notabily permanent in nature, resulting in a strong pattern of relationships with those who become close enough. Since the exterior attractive (amount of attention), it gives a wide field for the realization of the ways of obtaining pleasure from the unstable relationships.
For the approach is always the removal, whatever the quality was not coming. Sometimes inexplicable and totally unfounded affective separation, and disappearance.
Desire to bring drama into the relationship. The inconvenience of maintaining one tone of normal communications. The gain uncertainty, if all the long time "right."
the Disappearance and re-emergence after some time without any reason or explanation. Should says how it drains and enters into a stupor partners, resulting in a short-term relationship with a sad ending and sometimes with attempts to replay at a later time.
Deliberately unwittingly K. hinders harmonious relationship. Many people with this type of attachment is not aware of unconscious motives, but even awareness does not always help needed study because the maternal influence is not easy to overcome.
the Irony is that the quality of therapy you want just a long stable relationship with the analyst. But the therapist very soon becomes quite close and not indifferent, therefore it starts playing the same pattern of disappearances, appearances, secrecy, openness, the violation of the setting, etc.
If You are a parent, you should know that Your unstable attitude undermines the psyche of the child. How would You not hard, You need to stay confident support. Don't play with emotions of children is crucial.
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