the Concept of the triangle of Karpman is easy to understand, remember and apply in life or in psychotherapy practice.
But along with the easy get on a nightmarish scale of the phenomenon: according to sociological opinion polls, 40% of Russians put the happiness of a family on the first place for priority; good work — 14%, health 13%, etc.
the Russians did not have enough happiness in the family, and the reason for this is very often the prevalence of the "triangle of doom", as it is called.
What is it and why is this phenomenon so big?
the Triangle of Karpman is a psychological game "Aggressor — Victim — Savior", the initiator of which is almost always the Victim. She feels incapable of making decisions, feels cornered by the Aggressor, which often was not collected at all to be the aggressor. Standard if you ask the Aggressor why he acts this way and not otherwise, he's likely to answer: "what am I supposed to do? With her (the victim) is impossible otherwise". Thus, the Aggressor is another form of the victim; the Savior in the same way is just another form of Sacrifice ("how not to help someone in this situation?"). Example: wife mad at her husband because he was working late. Feeling like a victim, she went to visit a friend to complain to her and ask for moral support. Friend became the Saviour, the husband — Aggressor, although initially it was possible to solve the problem without psychological manipulations.
However, the main theme of the article is not the triangle of Karpman, and its prevalence in post-Soviet countries.
a Very frequent case: the wife is a manipulator, controlling the offense of the husband; the husband is experiencing at the same time resentment (he feels violated his interests) and a sense of guilt. The Savior is usually a friend of the family.
There is another option: the wife is posing as a victim of the mother-in-law; husband forced to as a Savior, trying to limit the influence of his mother. In fact, the family is not mother-in-law, and the manipulator, i.e. the wife.
the Familiar situation, isn't it?
Note: when talking about psychological manipulation, sometimes built in a system like the triangle of fate, in the examples usually given a woman. In Western countries there is such a huge preponderance of manipulators toward females; there's about an equal number of men and women. This is the specificity of the post-Soviet space: manipulators, in this case, the Victims are nearly always women.
the Reason for this lies in the institution of the family, in succession behaviors. The mother does not know how to deal with husband how to resolve personal and family problems; the burden of responsibility weighs on her, and, in order to make your life easier, she tries to lose her husband. The husband is gradually getting used to the role of the Aggressor — thus, roles are reserved for the mother and father. Daughter, as you know, unconsciously copies the behavior of the mother to overcome the Oedipus complex. And daughter, which has no alternatives (model of behavior is almost always borrowed from mother), grows manipulator, most often the Victim.
Although the role is mainly rarely change, Karpman in the work of 1968 reminds us that psychological game in the triangle does not tolerate constancy — each participant joining the game in any role, in the end switched to another role of the triangle and back. This happens because all three positions of this psychological games — variations of the Victim. For example, the Savior is able to prosecute the Aggressor for what he is, say, hurt the Victim; then the Savior will become the Aggressor and the Aggressor into the victim.
Back to the institution of the family. In the Russian family tradition until the 1980-ies (we touch on an extremely wide class of worker) was the place to be inequality and even violence. In Western countries, equality has been established for 60 years of the last century, and the movement toward this began in the mid-to-late 19th century. In the Russian Empire also had such tendencies, but, first, there were a huge number of illiterate peasants, and second, trends have been directed in a different direction together with the October revolution. the
Violence is the main key to understanding the triangle of Karpman in modern Russian family. Superior physical strength men does not leave the woman a choice: somehow necessary to solve the problem, but if the words, is always the fist? The decision manipulation. And this decision has resorted and still resort hundreds of thousands of post-Soviet women. So it was all familiar, that's not even seen as a problem that needs fixing: many in the head formed an unconscious Association of "woman — manipulator". Daughter watching mother and father, grows exactly the same Victim, and this process will not stop until the problem is understood.
the Only way to fix the situation is to realize its problematic.
Remember about the psychological games and not join them under any pretext.
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