Tanya's phone said "Buzz-buzz. You have a new message from the user Maksim".
- don't get wet in the rain today?
- Soaked. :( And froze terribly. :((
- Good!
Tanya adjourned the phone to the side.
She recalled the mother.
One day when Tanya was 8 years old, she broke my knees on the asphalt - "in the flesh". When I ran to my mom sobbing, mom, instead of sympathy, with venomous sarcasm said "well Done! Clever! Doprygalsya!" Mom smeared the "meat" of green paint, tan was terribly hurt, she was crying. Mother said "well Done! Doprygalsya! Now be patient and don't yell! My fault!"
it has always been. "Did you cut yourself? Well done!", "Sick? Well done!", "Hurt at school? Well done!", "Wet? Well done!"... And all this vicious sarcasm with the prosecution.
Now Tanya was 28. With mom she tried not to communicate. The scars on my knees as the years have healed and are barely noticeable, but angry accusatory sarcasm is still bitingly beat up old wounds.
Tanya heard a familiar "buzz-buzz". "Gone where?" - asked max.
Tanya thought.
"What do you want, max? What do you reckon?
friendship? Then sympathize with me. Say you're sorry that I was wet and cold. Tell me that the weather was so chilly, and raining the whole evening was raining so hard that was really hard not to get wet and freeze. Tell me you're glad I'm home and can keep warm. Ask me how I get warm after such a rain.
relationships? Then sympathize and take care. Ask do I need to bring me some oranges, or drugs, or a ride to work tomorrow morning.
"just sex"? But unless you can be good in bed if you are not able to show empathy and care for the partner even out of bed? What you then say "What, no cumshot? Well done!"
And what I want from you, Maxim? Are you important to me to try to teach you empathy and care? It is enough if you prove me to be interested to invest energy in building relationships? And can I change something? After all, you seem to have had the same mother as me. It took me three years of therapy to learn to distinguish between concern and ridicule."
"Buzz-buzz" again, she took a Tanya from the thoughts. "Where are you?????" - do not let the Maxim.
"Oh, no. This behavior freak me out". Tanya made a decision.
Sorry, max. I realized that we're too different. I don't want to continue communication with you.
After the answer of Maxim Tanya was convinced that I made the right decision.
She ordered a delivery of fruit and medicines. Brewed a new Cup of herbal tea and deeper wrapped up in a warm blanket.
Care is so important! And it is important to learn to distinguish where do care, and where cruelty, accusation, mockery. And build relationships with people who are capable of real concern.
!
