if "the perfection and wizard", it is likely you will be disappointed. Or idle tales.
Even more likely that you never will reach the living of a psychologist, because you are a reasonable man. And I understand that neither perfection nor wizards do not exist.
I'm Not going to talk about someone. Tell us about yourself.
a psychology degree I received second higher (St. Petersburg state University, special faculty of Philology, teacher training for psychologists). Diploma "retraining" gosobraztsa written specialty "psychologist". I must say what it means and then could not understand, and now. But life, of course, made adjustments and corrected.
I Started with teaching. That is, instead of "practical psychologist" stayed "a theoretical psychologist". It turned out to be a carefully chosen verb within a commercial company, the man who invented how to figure out what we should train leaders, and how to teach them. Already learned how to professionally listen, to clarify what a person wants to confuse issues to their desire of man to Express.
Then - after the birth of her second son, fate brought me to the role of sole personalschikov in the representation of a large Western company. It was interesting - very! I have hands - practical psychologist - touched modern mechanisms of human resources management. Then, only English and still unknown in Russia as a whole.
And wanted the whole system of work with personnel in hands - from participation in the discussion of the company's development strategy to the recruitment, training and staff development. To make such a system is good, clear and easy to... people. It is here that I was wrong. HR Director needs to do is convenient and profitable for the company.
Yet investigated the system as a whole, studied coaching (cognitive-behavioral approach if psychological language to speak). In coaching, I was quieter than, for example, in psychological counseling. Coaching works on the target, does not dive into the depths of the past, injury or peculiarities of the psyche and the nervous system.
But I was in coaching closely. Was drawn to me "in depth". Why? Maybe because on itself it was convinced that effective in reaching your goals makes people happy for a while. And I want to live a happy life not only at the peaks of achievements. And by the time I realized, acknowledged, felt that happiness is not a brief moment of delight. Not only did he. Happiness is the state in which it can be sadness, sorrow, joy, the same enthusiasm. Condition good contact with itself and the world.
All this time I've been out trying out different methods of psychological and bodily work: NLP, constellations according to Hellinger, yoga Angara (over 10 years), tai Chi (this is just a little bit). Found the Gestalt approach. It remained (Moskovsky Gestalt Institute). For me, it combined everything that I already knew about myself, people, the world - carefully and sustainably connected. To be sure that you will not move away from classical psychology, receive the diploma of "clinical psychologist" SIC them. Spondylitis.
In the above-described approximately 20 years and more her normal human life I had lived marriage, birth of children, divorce, second attempt of living together with a man, a breakup. Job loss, job search, recognition and rejection. Meeting people,becoming close friends and friends, parting with them, well, that is not with all new appointments. Now here reside the departure time of my Chicks out of the nest. Like I didn't mess up with them on our way to fly.
Psychologist-is a profession. Not the quality of the individual, not a certificate of special knowledge of people, not a character trait. This craft is. The only difference from other crafts that the key instrument is the man himself.
And here begins the confusion. For some reason, when it is obvious that the tool of work of the psychologist is himself a psychologist, there is the illusion that it means to be a model. To know the answers. To own secret knowledge. Never be wrong not to have negative feelings. Not to suffer. Since you're a psychologist, you can't ....(here the enumeration of all what I would like to get rid of or to get rid of others).
If you imagine that this Psychologist (he's a Teacher, he's a Guru, he's a Doctor of souls, he's omnipresent) exists, then:
- first, for him/her afraid to go. This power may in fact be destroyed.
- secondly, why is it that someone is inherently better than you?! To go and be disappointed in yourself no one will want.
- third, where is this take? You come to a psychological center and there's usually some people sitting. A single gram of grandeur. There are, of course, catching up pathos promoted by the marketing of the Great Psychologists, but it is expensive. Mysterious or receiving whether in a Park or in a cafe, or in someone's apartment from "his disciples".
Well, most likely not there is a Psychologist. You are absolutely right. But this does not mean that it is not necessary to know how does a normal living person with a profession psychologist without capital letters.
I, for instance.
During the life and study of man emotional swings were unsettled and often badly, I became a person who feels, sees, when, and in what direction moves the pendulum of emotions. For some reason, he started. How to support yourself on the way. What or whom to rely. How, being the emotional man not to lose himself at the peak of the rise or fall. And what to do if you still a little lost. "a Little" - it is a long time (more than a year), experiences of major changes, to be able to live for a month or two. Not losing a sense of self-worth and integrity.
I'm not going to teach the client "do as I do". Everyone has their own ways and means. I only become a mainstay, steady man who knows how to behave in emotions, can help you to notice your offer to give attention to what you never considered in dialogues with oneself.
it Turns out that I don't know so much how something should be, how many have some experience and observation. How to survive the loss of that has not gone the feeling of enjoyment of life. How to make a choice - considering what's necessary and what's desirable. How to deal with recurring stories in my life. Well, you know, when you get deja vu is when something already happened to me, why is everything repeating itself? So dare to dive into the story of his life, to find where something happened that makes you afraid of welcome or want the impossible. And this experience I now have.
And of course, I obey the immutable laws of business: 1) personal therapy 2) to Work with supervision, to be in the professional community, 3) working with friends and family, 4) to Provide a clear agreement (setting) the rules of work: place, time, payment, start and end, 5) Not to make relationships a psychologist-client in any other (this is perhaps the most important indicator of ill-being psychologist-professional, when clients become friends, disciples, sexual partners etc).
and so it turns out the psychologist. Not a magician, not perfection.
Professionally trained people prepared to create the conditions, atmosphere of conversation, to listen, to respond, to offer himself as the person with whom you can check how you react to people, what they are experiencing, how it affects relationships and so on.
Professionally trained, just to be there when you are sad, angry, afraid or talk about themselves that had never been uttered aloud. To be destroyed, to be and to maintain relationships, to be and not to switch on the sounds outside the window.
And you have the time, place and persons where and with whom you may be not alone. To pay for this is not debt, relationships, life, exactly specified amount per hour of the existence of your personal space. And you're protected by the fact that after the end of the session, you can choose to change or not, to get the rest of the world a little different or not.
If after working with a psychologist you feel your life gets fuller - the tool works for you correctly. I do not write, if you became happier, more energetic or more energetic. Sometimes the fullness of life is manifested in slow and smooth more than a running squirrel in a cage. If you feel more alive, even in sorrow, the craft of the psychologist works.
PS I was fascinated by photography, which I am illustrating this article (with permission of the author photos Olga Nikitina). In this photo reflects the very close to me right now. I am. There is a frame that me and creates a lot of space for the new, the different, the unknown. There is a suitcase - and so is the way. And there is a pause, to sit, to think...
#VMS #sessionlog
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