Under psychotherapy sometimes understand the treatment of seriously ill people. Such understanding rather discourage, but if you look at psychotherapy as a process of self-discovery, it becomes much more interesting.
I will tell you about successful psychotherapy Ludmila, who had seemingly everything: was able to build a career from Manager to Director, to create a family, linking his life with a reliable man and subsequently giving birth to a healthy baby. But Lyudmila had a weak point – she was feeling not simply attractive, and flawed from the inside looked like this : "not that I have anything interesting, something that would be like other people."
Lyudmila was responsible and caring, friends loved her, its appreciated. But deep down, she felt his own insignificance, inferiority. This was reflected in the intimate life with my husband, which was mechanistic. And Lyudmila happy to call themselves could not. It existed as the necessary man, responsible, Executive. But it was seemed devoid of normal everyday joys of a normal woman. She didn't see in myself anything that could please others, something interesting, beautiful, attractive.
After therapy, which was successful, Lyudmila were able to "dig in the ruins of the past" the part of me that was buried it her sense of attractiveness and confidence in their beauty. She said in 30 years not had so much attention and compliments as 40 years. As Lyudmila began to experience pleasure and enjoyment in sex life, she began to like my body. She found out that she has body parts that are erotic and attractive.
I want to show what happened in therapy and helped to change. the
First awareness was that of a child, Ludmila was accompanied by emotional violence. Her achievement was devalued, and the disobedience and shortcomings were exaggerated. Parents are often emotionally unavailable, not interested in its development, and when she needed the closeness of the father and mother were absorbed in themselves and could not give it to her. With both parents was the threat and control that is domination. Sometimes called the technique of terror - "the brainwashing of the hostages." Because Ludmila had experienced neglect from parents as a child, it induced her to look for in a relationship what she lacked. So she was a very caring, responsible, Executive, but she was not able to take care of themselves. Ludmila has always had the anxiety because I could not experience the emotional satisfaction. Activity in the work of creating the illusion of emotional life. It turned out that Lyudmila supported side sexual relations with 2, 3 other people. Need for affection Lyudmila was very large, and the ability to distinguish between feelings is very limited. Anyone who has admired and respected, was becoming attractive.
Her self-esteem and independence, shape their own identity could not develop normally. It was not normal conditions, parents could not give her the opportunity to discover their female parts, and in this sense they were invisible to her, like he didn't exist. Indeed, Lyudmila when meeting acted more asexual, it was hard to see her as a charming woman who came later.
Through discernment in themselves sadistic impulses toward herself, Lyudmila saw that quite strongly represses his libidinal impulses and their sexuality. Her tight super-ego as the warden kept in the prison of her womanhood, was punishing guilt. Gradually, Ludmila began to feel his internal contradictions that it became possible to work out .
At the last meeting Ludmila was talking about the feeling of freedom and the ability to manage this new inner sense of our own power. If she wanted to, you could be not sexy not attractive, but in other time she would want to please and then she was charming and always hear compliments in his address. br>