When the client tells the therapist his complicated history, he was an important response. The reaction of the therapist on its story, in the structure in which he presents, on the senses in history and those that cause the process of story-telling, and a special way of experiencing these feelings.
the customer in this case may require a very different. This can be compassion, comfort, trust, podtverjdenie reality of what happened with the client, the anger at those who caused suffering to the client, maintaining the belief that change is possible, normalization of feelings, return right to your feelings and the part of the story. And all of these options can be individually, sequentially, or several together. And that in itself is very diagnostichno.
in Addition to the direction of the reaction still has her power. In this setting, the response can also be sufficient, insufficient or excessive. And in each moment of time is subject to change. Because we can talk about the needs of the client only at the moment.
the Line between these needs can be very thin, but the internal reaction to the response of the therapist will vary.
Empathy is a joint sensual presence in the experiences that are taking place with the client. This is an opportunity to give the person in front of the feeling that his feelings are understood and accepted. This message - "I hear you", "to survive what's happening to you, maybe."
Because empathy is not only a separation of the experience, but in some ways its maintenance. This is important when feeling overpowered and it needs to be thinned out. When there is a possibility that with the support of the other this feeling can wane. This is important when people take too long to through it all alone, because very great famine to be seen in his feelings. That the other did not dismiss his feelings, not run away, did so. Experienced them with him.
But a completely different goal in comfort. It is more appropriate when the person has already exhausted their sense, whatever it was. No matter what is the main therapeutic work with him. When it does not have the strength to continue to feel what is happening inside. This happens when a complex feeling somehow stalled. Whether what insight is lacking, or support, whether designated for the experience, whether this process is possible only with this speed. And then the truth in this way need a break.
Then it is very important consolation. When the responsibility for uteshenie feelings will take someone else. For example, a therapist. It's like a little kid when he furiously went into his hysterics, and no longer able to stay on their own, no matter how wanted: "well, Well, good, I'm with you, you're upset. You feel bad now, I can hear and I'm very sorry for you. We'll figure something out, I'll help you, I will never leave you. I'm here." br>
In this condition you can even distract the person with something. Best of all themselves, of course. Warm and kind contact with me about something else. Not about that, so hurt and desperate. To overworked muscle of the soul, which can not get off, finally got a welcome respite.
For solace and sympathy are two situational, externally very similar, but at the same time, bi-directional strategies for responding to strong feelings of the person opposite. br>
If you start to sympathize with and support experience with a man who is very exhausted by his own feelings, he may just log into your inner tornado, inside of which everything that happens is seen frightening and painful chaos. When the soul becomes sympathetic for pushing the center of the storm.
If you start to console in need of sympathy, metaphorically it will look like the cover of a boiling pot sealed with a lid. When you try to let off steam, he will be forced to endure this unrealistic pressure from the inside.
As if like sounds to the ear words of consolation and sympathy, yet inside another person they produce quite a different effect. And understanding this difference seems very important, if you want to give the other what he needs.
!
