no matter How it was hard to accept, but we are really not perfect. And if you treat it philosophically - we are perfect in your imperfection. We don't like when someone pokes a finger at our shortcomings and is not with our advantages. But these situations, you can derive real benefits for themselves.
the more we are hurt by someone else's negative opinion and criticism, the more the signal is exactly the same hidden self inside us. What we are not willing to accept yourself fully and completely, and present yourself to the world for What it Is – that is completely diverse, with a wide range of qualities, which, depending on the situation may be assessed as "bad" or "good".
Therefore, “the opinions" in the next exercise will help us to examine ourselves and to accept entirely.
- Write down in a column as much as possible about what you hear in your address according to your feeling uncomfortable and not true about you. Such expressions that you particularly emotionally react considering them unjust and unreasonable. Criticism, opinions. But not insults - this is a separate issue. Although if I can rephrase the insult to identify the essence of the opinion(evaluation) - this can be useful for the job. Record only the essence of the phrase: "You ....". Without specifying who, when and how it is said.
- When done, write down what feelings and thoughts emerged after this part of the job, what are the sensations in the body that I want to do with this condition and thoughts.
- Take another leaf. Mentally realize and feel that now you are in your safe space, not in a direct dialogue with the unpleasant the course of the conversation. You are fully aware of their thoughts, body and situation. You don't need to defend, something to prove and challenge. You can relax and dream freely. You can take a break and observe your emotions, thoughts, sensations. Just breathe.. When you are already tuned into this new state, proceed to the second part of the task.
- Answer every item on the first leaf are agreeing with the statement. Considering that absolutely everyone SOMETIMES, too, and therefore you. Now look and write down a situation when you feel that way, deep down inside agree with the statement of the item and maybe even your inner voice is telling you. And accept that this is normal. This happens with absolutely every person. For example, “You (such and such) » - «Yes, sometimes I feel (so). Especially when….(list the situation). it is fine, it happens to everybody.”
- Now think and write down in what situations is the “negative” quality you plays “hand”. When and how you can use it as an advantage. Maybe you know other people's stories and other crops that can become such an example. Paisleyite. And start to watch it in real life.
- do Not try anything now to refute. You do so constantly engaged, increasing the internal or external struggle. The challenge now is to try to think in a new way, to learn something new.
This exercise will help later in a real communication to take emotional distance to assess the situation and their feelings to form my own opinion of himself. And most importantly, feel more complete and harmonious personality.
All the best!
!
