Blogs are full of advice: if you are not satisfied with relationships get out of them! Write about it all, from famous psychologist whose name starts with L and ends in-s, to obscure bloggers.
is it So? Such advice giving easier. You are the boss and your subordinate something you are not satisfied with — fire him! In the relationship with your partner difficulties and problems — get out of this relationship. These tips give easy and pleasant. Experts in the field of organizational consulting know that this decision — to dismiss an uncomfortable employee is not always true. You are losing perhaps valuable specialist. As for close, intimate relationships — this separation is usually not just unproductive, but also very painful.
These tips at least — is irresponsible. Especially promoted by the blogger or media "psychologist" whose lyrics, too speak simply about difficult things many people are happy to reprint. It creates the illusion of competence — people think that if the media psychologist, known — he is a very good specialist. Than raskruchennaya — the more competent.
needless to say that this is not necessarily so. The relationship is very complex. However, we really want simple solutions to complex issues. And if the person is a simple solution to offer, and his texts then disperse thousands of census — so want to believe him.
what could be simpler — no man, no problem. There is a problem in a particular relationship with any particular person — what can be done the simplest? Just get rid of this man — to cease to see him! Well, “chop off the tail”, get rid of negative experiences in connection with the separation, which is also the subject of many texts and training courses.
And to try to establish relations, to build them? No, why? After all, the famous "psychologists" suggest an unsatisfying relationship to break.
Such “advisors” surely right in only one case. If the relationship is violence. Then, without question, these relationships need to stop worrying first and foremost about their safety.
Deliverance from a relationship does not solve the problem. Relationships — a very important part of our lives. The rupture of relations gives rise to suffering, loneliness creates suffering. And it is not only the neurotic fear of loneliness, but in something more healthy and important — namely, in love, in the experience of trusting intimacy with another person.
And, Yes, the above relationship is possible and worth the work! And the degree of ‘toxicity" or of patholo-gical determine in the course of their review and analysis. A relationship (Yes, not all, but many!) you can align and harmonize, to find in them a harmony and happiness.
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