In this article we will focus on the so-called "codependent" relationship. Increasingly, the term in the modern world.
Codependent accepted relationships with extreme emotional and mental immersion in the life of another person, the obsession of one man on another. remember – these relationships are never the norm – a deviation preventing a person to live and develop, a problem which must be addressed.
How to distinguish codependent relationships
You keep talking about the man want to know what he says, does, thinks and feels.
You “cannot” without this person. If the object of your desire is out of your sight you have lost all the joy of life – you can't eat, sleep, think about something or about somebody else.
You cannot nothing to deny the person you are in a relationship, even if the requests or demands which it makes, are contrary to your inner convictions and attitudes.
are You naughty, acting like a child trying to attract the attention of a significant object.
You are from the mood of the partner feel guilty for what he can't do something.
Fear the fact that you rejected because it as you think will lead no more, no less to the fact that your universe will collapse.
You feel constant depression, chronic fatigue, apathy, the desire to hide in a corner.
How not to become a victim of painful relations
do Not decide for others. Understand, each person must take responsibility for your life. It works in two ways:
do Not someone “save” – every man has the right to make decisions.
do Not impose others – you self-sufficient person, able to cope with their problems on their own.
don't let control, control, psychological pressure and physical abuse against himself – it always leads to codependency.
How to get rid of codependency
If you realize that you become the hostage of such a relationship, you should take the following steps:
Determine what you depend and what exactly attracts you to your partner.
it Turns out that by analyzing his experiences with the man. Answer the following questions: “What do you feel?”, “What emotions do you feel close to the person?” If you can answer these questions, try to understand how else you can get the you need.
step back from the man.
Not aloof, you will not be able to leave. Free yourself not only from contacts with his former partner, but also from involvement in his life. Remember, you must have your own Hobbies, interests, work, friends. Stop living someone else's life and begin finally his.
Understand that you are an independent person.
remember that “cannot” without man does not exist. You are Siamese twins, whose life do physiologically connected. You breathe, walk, think, sleep and even if your life will disappear the people dear to you, you do not forget to do this. Don't forget that. Yes, you may be uncomfortable without it, bad, painful, but life does not end exactly.
Work on your self-esteem.
self-sufficient, well-developed and confident person in the codependent relationship is not needed.
don't be afraid that it will be worse.
If you are in this relationship, then you live in constant stress, tension, anxiety, perpetual guilt, apathy, anger, and low self-esteem. So don't worry – it could not be worse.
Focus on the future that awaits you.
do Not forget that everything you do now, you make in the future easier and safer.
Surround yourself with not indifferent people.
Relatives and friends – these are the people whose support you'll need. Don't be afraid to ask directly for their help.
Use the help of specialists.
Sometimes it is really necessary to go to a psychologist to finally put an end to relations and not to get into a similar situation.
follow these rules and you will succeed. You wakes up hard and bad, but not for much longer. Once you make the first step to salvation, that most of your fears will leave and there will be a new happy life.
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