Why was I not choose...?
Why, I have not approached me not interested?
Why wasn't I promoted?
Why I don't like men (women)?
BECAUSE I'm BAD!!
Not passing guilt, and its badness, constant voltage over "suddenly I'll do something wrong". Fear to do wrong, guilt for doing a poor job, the mistakes, the guilt and shame of my ugly body, for something I do not know how.
This is a real beach - low self-esteem, guilt and inferiority, you can call it different, the essence remains one - with this set, a large number of people in one way or another suffer from mild stiffness or aversion to a painful unbearable tension.
As this set is formed? Let's make a short excursion to the roots of our childhood.
As we have children?
I Only propose to consider how people have children by the example they give birth to animals... Say a bad comparison? I don't think - sometimes something is so obvious it is through the use of analogies.
One day bringing home a kitten, he's cute and fluffy, helpless, and he's got incredible tiny little voice. Children squealing with delight, adults Pat and I regret it, everyone likes this cartoon creation. Then the kitten grows up and begins to jump on the shelves with things to climb on the table, steal sausages, and worse can write on the floor. And then the enraged host raises his hand and hits shaggy with a force that would have not emerged more and thought to repeat the trick. While he was still furiously angry because the parasite trampled his dirty paws table, as he dared to plant here unsanitary.
How the cat could know what is unsanitary? The cat is guilty only in the fact that he also wanted, like all the - "his flock" at the table where all are fed. What's wrong, what did he WANT? What is wrong is that he wants to climb higher on the Cabinet and as a hunter to watch over her family, what wrong with that he also wants meat that during the day he's begging for snacks, many people eat candy and drink tea with sugar between meals, they also beat himself a slap in the head?
I Suspect the objection: “well, let's solve them all now!!!”
in our culture very often people confuse education with humiliation and violence. Yesterday I watched the movie "miracle" about how in the 50s were taught the deaf-blind. A wonderful example of the teacher that restricts a child who is not a trained not a single rule of conduct, but does not suppress, does not degrade, does not cause injury.
What is wrong is that the cat has his desires - after all, this is a sign that he is alive, desires and aspirations - is a movement - is life!
He wants something, he has no idea how it is for humans. It is bad only because what prevents the owner - that's why it's bad. The cat should be taught social rules and not to feel hatred for him for what he wished for things we do not understand or inconvenience.
When the family planned a child is born, all rejoice with this doll, the fact that the light was the successor of the family, the fact that he's cute, because it describes mom and dad as heroes, etc. etc. And then he begins to persistently INTERFERE with his parents here and there. It interferes because it is a disgrace to the neighbors and in kindergarten, because she wants to pee in the store because the debt was crying for unclear reasons, and something requires because it requires to take the pen, because he wants to go and watch, but can't do it himself because he wants a toy at the store, want to eat only burgers and only roses with cake.
It prevents that forces parents to face a state of confusion and helplessness - lack of awareness on how to respond to the immediacy and directness of the manifestations of how to talk to this primal element, as instantly to squeeze it into the framework of social prejudice, and not to rush in the eyes of others, and to calm my panic. How to raise a child without damaging a single flower and not a centimeter of Wallpaper, clean and quiet...
Every action of the younger child may create a risk for parents, ranging from unsanitary conditions, ending deeply affected by the dignity and undermined authority.
What's wrong with that all the time he wants something? Because of the desire and movement is life itself! Easier to kill that life, in order not to jeopardize your clear sustainable world.
What's wrong with that kid standing next to her mother, demands that he too was given a card to insert into ATM? He wants to do as a mom. What is wrong is that the child wants mom and her friends talked with him, too, and not just among themselves? What is wrong if a child climbs into the pool, he wants to visit this small sea and discover what's inside... What's wrong with that cut children hair yourself and dolls, they, like adults, I want to change hairstyles, and even learning it on their own… What is wrong is that the kids want to pee and poop when mom wants to walk around the store can they to breathe to ban?
Or you parents want your kid was missing in the store items off the shelf and adjusting his pince-nez, with a deep expression, looking out from under the folds of the wrinkles, and told you: "it is not ethical, this behavior is not worthy of high society, stop laughing like horses in a public place, mom and dad, remove unnecessary items from the cart – we can do without synthetic candy, and proceed to the checkout!" Yes he has no idea what is good and bad, and why machine, which requests itself to take off the shelf, it turns out to not take, and that is the money that someone gives once a month, and while for some reason all the time...
Questions like: "Why I don't like these people why I do not choose, do not appreciate the work" set the position of the victim - why don't they make me the action that would be favorable to me than I didn't deserve it... These children are raised according to the principle of the victim, not the person with their desires and then views. On their want, they get angry and spanking on the butt or on your human dignity. For their want they used to experience a profound sense of guilt and feeling of absurdity, badness, guilt for its vitality - a manifestation of himself in this world. Call it bad behavior...
You are guilty only in the fact that you piss off a mother.
it Hurt to live without problems and superfluous questions. Not that you were a bad child is a child.
Exercise: if you lack positive emotions, or you are experiencing the unpleasant experiences described in the article, offer you throughout the day to approve his wish or intention (even if very simple, such as washing the dishes or pour the tea), and any emotion (including negative). Say to yourself, “your desires – well”, “your emotions – well”.
cheers!
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