Ты справедлив к другим, а другие к тебе нет?


Some people live from the idea that one should behave toward others as we would like them to treat you.

And overall, not a bad idea.
But not everyone is following this idea within reason. Some - in part unreasonable.
Sincerely believing that if they will do his job for others, and the surrounding at any moment are ready to rush to their aid.

man Lives. And he has many friends. Then Serge will be asked to lift the piano on the 8th floor, the wolf asked with a car to hand, then Andrei will take.
Phone is broken. And people happy with the way it all seemingly important and necessary.

And once the person in trouble. And it turns out that Serge is on the sea, Vova dog got sick, Andrei wife podbrege tomatoes to preserve. A man sitting alone with their troubles. Mad. disappointment and anger. They're all over th, and they responded like that with him. Unfair.

And unfair?
it Seems that people from our history, tried to turn the friendship into a relationship like sale. You me - I you. Or rather in reverse order I give you, and then you tell me.
And in his mind the picture is built in such a way that all his friends rush to the rescue at the slightest of his needs. After all, it is for them to do so.

In reality things are a bit different.

In reality, there may be resources to help someone with whom to spend time, cheer, regret. caress. And there may be such resources.

to Give what is in excess. And learn to take it. where in excess. the
And people from our history gives always. Even when the depleted and exhausted. And no wonder that,in return, expects the same.

My coach Gestalt cited a great example about the excess and the desire to share with others.
Here we take a nursing mother( for those who have experience breastfeeding this example is particularly colorful).
mom Left for half a day. But milk still coming and coming. As long as no Breasts become heavy, swollen, hard and painful accumulation of milk. It causes terrible discomfort and a lot of very unpleasant sensations.
All.what mom wants is to put your baby to your breast, so he sucked the accumulated milk. the
And then everyone is happy. The mom who got rid of the excess. And the kid who had the need to eat out.
Yes, a nursing mother in such moments is not only its ready to feed. and any other baby because it just breaks from the accumulated milk.

Abundance is different. Sometimes it is, sometimes love, sometimes concern. A lot of things. And in these moments is just perfect to share with a needy friend. the
And certainly no need to share if you don't have enough. the
And people from our history. exhausted, gives up the past, hoping. it came back twice.
But alas, could not make it back.
What he had to do? Ideally, look for that. anyone have something to share. And filled with. Or to do some business. allowing you to fill. And only after that to share with friends.

It's about the ability to say "no" in those moments when you have no resources. It's about the ability to hear your own needs and boundaries.

of Course, friendship and love - is interchange. This is their meaning.
And when I'm tired, going to bed early, but a friend calls me. which was a trouble, I will arise and go to her. But if her request that she will cope without me, I can not refuse.

it is Important to learn to assess the damage that gets everyone at some point in time. If, in my opinion, my need to rest above the needs of another, I will refuse. And if I think I am very necessary to him, and his need is stronger, I agree. This, of course, all subjective and about. But nevertheless better than always saying Yes, expect that you will reciprocate and again and again to bump into disappointment in people.

Anastasiya Afanasenko

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Anastasiya Afanasenko

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