Now marriage is often considered in the context of their children's feelings: as if the whole point of marriage is to provide security, to confirm the confidence and self-esteem of the partner, and to comfort all the kids "bedki" each other. Received many requests about how to find a life partner that will "doda" all that is not given mom and dad.
At the same time on the back burner completely to go thinking that man can give, all that did not get in childhood – and this is what will give him the true guarantee of security, self-worth and confidence in their abilities. No one from the outside is not able to provide such a stable person experience of yourself, because as soon as one begins to give this power to the outside, it becomes the position of the "vane", he is in a position, depending on whether they want the partner he has something to give or not, they want the partner to positively reinforce or not...it Turns out that the condition of the person determines someone else, and not himself.
Often I work with women, who overcomes fear of being alone. They joined the Mature age, someone already has the experience of marriage behind them, some don't, but all share the same fears, which they boldly say out loud. I remind them that the worst decision you can make is the decision out of fear of something. It will have to pay sometimes higher price. List the common reasons for which people enter into a relationship, when between them there is no love or sexual desire:
- low self-esteem in both partners.
- fear of being alone
- fear of being useless.
When a woman enters into a relationship because she's afraid to age in the company of cats she repeats something from his life that she has lived. Imagine the woman dad every day called a kind word, rolled on her back and was tenderly nurtured her from birth. Such a lady, even if they get in contact with a destructive man, you will quickly feel that it is uncomfortable for her relationship. A woman who enters into a relationship, like wanting to get on the leaving train, driving themselves into a trap from which every year will be harder to get out, as another traumatic relationship will only reinforce the already existing negative self-presentation.
What to do? Answer: you have to go and live your way to a new style of your thinking! To realize that our expectations to be confirmed by men is about deception and illusion, it is impossible to obtain continuously and in the right amount, it often leads us down the path of insults in the address of the partner on the path of accusation and grievance, which in the system, creates family life from the battlefield. If you recognize this description of yourself, great! Be aware that you recreate these conditions unconsciously, resurrecting from his childhood, familiar atmosphere. From this moment you have power and authority to change your life! Make the decision to do otherwise!
To record in advising on relationship with ourselves and the opposite sex, to go here.
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