a Successful man treats anxiety, which much prevents to live. As long as he remembered, he worries for no reason, disturbed sleep, irritability and lack of restraint sometimes poisons his relationships with family and with age, he with great displeasure that feels the energy consumption of their anxiety. It seems that it is rather innate and the doctor has advised him "to adjust" the "imbalance in the brain" tranquilizers and antidepressants, which he did not want to "sit."
Analyzing the nature of anxiety of client and acquired by him in childhood beliefs about ourselves, about others and about relationships, I have repeatedly drawn attention to phrases like "no matter what I achieved, it's not enough", "others are able to enjoy much less success, and I do not feel the taste of achievement even when it is obviously and significantly in comparison with the achievements of others," "I am afraid of running into disapproval", "I care about them/him/her opinion about me", "I'm just not good enough". And this coming from a man with zero self-constructed your business with loyal regular customers and a minimal outflow of employed it professionals.
This tendency to devalue themselves, their qualities and their deeds were assimilated by the client in a family where the measure of all human relationships was a success. Thus the success criteria specified were not successful or not you the father, himself once brought up hard, often unhappy and emotionally cold father. And rest assured, he's always been decided that "not enough". Because if there are no criteria, there can be opportunities to fulfill them to receive this coveted approval, praise, recognition. And feel its right to exist, and so subtile informed him that the father must also be earned.
the Basic acceptance that in normal families between normal people there is what is called "gratis", that is without conditions, which have valorativas inside out, to perform, were not present in relation to the client himself. But there were the drivers, "be strong" and "helped me" and the commandment "do not live" if you put in the categories of transactional analysis. This gave rise to anxiety and was not "congenital".
to Feel like "ever since I can remember" means to feel with the moment when the parent learned that "the truth", which the parent was once a subordinate and subjugated the whole life of his son. Or rather, tried to subdue. Because the son took and put into question the veracity of, the inevitability and necessity and this truth and this way of thinking and being.
the Anxiety of my client was just a patch firmware that is comparable to the program in the device running the algorithm, working on the principle "if - then": "if you're not good enough, then you don't deserve love, acceptance, peace." To reflash it.
Realize what your parent was wrong, that he lied to you all this time as the last con, because I was once deceived.
to learn not to justify the lie of a parent to their detriment, especially if he is not asking about it.
to learn not to lie to yourself regarding your value, putting it out of habit dependence on delusional terms.
you learn to trust yourself more than those who has revealed himself as a deceiver and a manipulator and generally not enough loving people.
to learn how to separate people whose conditions it makes sense to do, because it is agreement from people whose conditions/expectations/opinions do not play any role.
to learn how to determine where adequate conditions, and where not – and therefore it would be inadequate to fulfill them.
to free your mind from the old firmware and contraproductive emotional reactions, you need to emotionally emancipate itself from the native people on which you depend only in your perception, and not de facto. And must himself become good, caring, and not over-demanding; gentle, not hard; appreciate and not depreciate parent. In this case, will disappear and anxiety.
!
