the
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the person who takes responsibility not only for the results of their work and for the work of the organization, reasons for alarm and fears abound. And let it is widely believed that a good leader is always collected, calm and fearless man, let's not forget that it is only a social role, and fears is something that comes from you "real". Afraid of something from time to time is common to all, and that's fine.
Why is there fear?
Fear is a protective emotional reaction. Fears are often secondary. They occur when you are in a new, unknown situation, because the unknown may contain any danger threatening you, or when repeated something from your past. Fear can be disguised reflection of a deep unconscious processes (destructive attitudes or psychological trauma).
We used to treat fear rejection, want to keep it, but, in our psyche, as well as in life in General, nothing is meaningless, and even such "negative" emotions like fears has its own function, the "message" they are trying to convey to us.
moreover, the fears keep us safe and sound, as signals that something has got to focus and be alert. Fears prevent us from folly and self-destruction.
But there are fears in which nothing good — they harass, torment, disturb feel harmoniously and well, they're irrational, often inexplicable and uncontrollable.
With such fears need to understand.
every fear has a reason
first and foremost, you need to find out the true cause of the fear. This must be done individually, because two people who are afraid of the same thing, the cause of fear may be different.
For clarity, I will cite a few examples of common fears among the leaders and the possible reasons for their occurrence.
Fear of loss of the employee
You allow the employee more than he should, and often do so at the expense of the organization only because they are afraid of losing him. Allowed to take the day off, best not to notice the error, raise it on demand.
this fear could be a million different reasons. But they are all about your last personal experience about past losses or the relationship.
Perhaps you always try to be all "good"? So I can not tell a person something unpleasant, because it destroys the myth about how wonderful you were.
Or do not allow themselves to have the right to be wrong? Yes, Irina is a bad master and not doing its job, but you hired her so you can't dismiss and need to try to remake it — to send on courses of improvement of qualification, for example. To help it become better. For her to take responsibility.
If the employee can not cope, and you don't get fired, for example, out of pity, mind you, where the roots of this pity. Most likely, you will find them in childhood. Perhaps as a child you were protecting one of their parents and trying to protect so far?
We can't be responsible for another person. You want me to work, I give you resources — please do your job. There should be no guilt, no shame. Adult the relationship is good will.
the Fear of unsuitability for the post
If you recently have become the head, this fear is natural. To be a leader for you are in uncharted territory. You went out of your comfort zone, and anxiety, and the fear is understandable.
Another thing, when you've occupied a certain position, but the fear still does not let you. In this case, is a question of self-esteem and self-acceptance.
If you do not conform at work, it is likely that in life you too do not conform. Perhaps you are too demanding of themselves, insufficient sure of yourself, strive for perfection, self-criticism, or constantly look back at some of the ideal in your view the image of the head.
If you do not conform at work, it is likely that in life you too "do not match".
Fear to delegate
Fear to delegate tasks and powers usually associated with the desire to be in control.
If you are afraid that without you we will fail, you will try to confirm this. For example, you give a subordinate such tasks, that they just will not be able to perform in time to then, when all the deadlines have already come out, to help "prove" themselves once again that they can not be trusted.
This may be the position of the strict, authoritarian parent. And might be related to your self-esteem: You constantly need to prove to yourself that you are better than others, because, really, you're not very confident.
the Desire for control is the need to reduce levels of anxiety. Perhaps you have a high level of underlying anxiety. This is when the mother was unsure of himself, his world, or were not ready to be a mom. And she is very worried or gave a lot of installs: "do Not go here", "What are you doing?!" "Be careful". Moreover, that child so difficult to understand in this world — mom voltage. The child does not feel secure. And then this anxiety becomes the basic part of the character, is strengthened.
the Fear of communicating with subordinates, fear of losing respect
This fear, not generally recognized, but very prevent the leader to be effective. There are cases when the leaders are so afraid to talk with their subordinates that are specifically hired someone to communicate with them through this man. This is especially true of those subordinates who below on several levels. Then in the course are excuses like "they have chiefs, they will tell me everything".
it also Happens that the head is afraid to ask again, properly understood his subordinate. Then, of course, leads to bad results.
For this fear is the desire to create the perfect image. But this image — it is not viable. Ideal image is the deity, which can only speak through intermediaries. It is a wall built to no one guessed what I really am. This inaccessibility often hides inconsistency.
It is a wall built to no one guessed what I really am.
What to do with fear?
Ask yourself, what is the basis of your fear? About what this fear is about the past, present, future? Why? Reminds you of what?
If you understood the reason of his fear, necessarily speak it. If possible — share with someone that understood. You will spend much more energy if I keep the fear inside. Make a plan for how you will get rid of it and you need to take.
Sometimes, the true reason for fear you have not understood. This means that your mind blocks out any memories because they are too painful or were once. In this case, you should consult a professional psychologist.
Fears are very revealing. You broadcast them not only at work but in life. For example, your desire for control can spread to your children or your relationship. But self-doubt can manifest itself in failed attempts to make new friends. You can try to trace it, if you are attentive to yourself and your actions.
as soon As fear gets the necessary attention and respect to what he wants to convey, it dissolves or at least weakens, because its function is executed.
What you can read on the subject
I. Melodic. "While you were trying to be God... Painful way of Narcissus".
I. Yalom. "Staring into the sun. A life without fear of death."
K. Izard. "Psychology of emotions".
V. Pichugin. "The wisdom of fear. How to understand and overcome your fear?".
https://ik1.by/articles/345
Olga VoloshenkoWhy is there fear?
Fear is a protective emotional reaction. Fears are often secondary. They occur when you are in a new, unknown situation, because the unknown may contain any danger threatening you, or when repeated something from your past. Fear can be disguised reflection of a deep unconscious processes (destructive attitudes or psychological trauma).
We used to treat fear rejection, want to keep it, but, in our psyche, as well as in life in General, nothing is meaningless, and even such "negative" emotions like fears has its own function, the "message" they are trying to convey to us.
moreover, the fears keep us safe and sound, as signals that something has got to focus and be alert. Fears prevent us from folly and self-destruction.
But there are fears in which nothing good — they harass, torment, disturb feel harmoniously and well, they're irrational, often inexplicable and uncontrollable.
With such fears need to understand.
every fear has a reason
first and foremost, you need to find out the true cause of the fear. This must be done individually, because two people who are afraid of the same thing, the cause of fear may be different.
For clarity, I will cite a few examples of common fears among the leaders and the possible reasons for their occurrence.
Fear of loss of the employee
You allow the employee more than he should, and often do so at the expense of the organization only because they are afraid of losing him. Allowed to take the day off, best not to notice the error, raise it on demand.
this fear could be a million different reasons. But they are all about your last personal experience about past losses or the relationship.
Perhaps you always try to be all "good"? So I can not tell a person something unpleasant, because it destroys the myth about how wonderful you were.
Or do not allow themselves to have the right to be wrong? Yes, Irina is a bad master and not doing its job, but you hired her so you can't dismiss and need to try to remake it — to send on courses of improvement of qualification, for example. To help it become better. For her to take responsibility.
If the employee can not cope, and you don't get fired, for example, out of pity, mind you, where the roots of this pity. Most likely, you will find them in childhood. Perhaps as a child you were protecting one of their parents and trying to protect so far?
We can't be responsible for another person. You want me to work, I give you resources — please do your job. There should be no guilt, no shame. Adult the relationship is good will.
the Fear of unsuitability for the post
If you recently have become the head, this fear is natural. To be a leader for you are in uncharted territory. You went out of your comfort zone, and anxiety, and the fear is understandable.
Another thing, when you've occupied a certain position, but the fear still does not let you. In this case, is a question of self-esteem and self-acceptance.
If you do not conform at work, it is likely that in life you too do not conform. Perhaps you are too demanding of themselves, insufficient sure of yourself, strive for perfection, self-criticism, or constantly look back at some of the ideal in your view the image of the head.
If you do not conform at work, it is likely that in life you too "do not match".
Fear to delegate
Fear to delegate tasks and powers usually associated with the desire to be in control.
If you are afraid that without you we will fail, you will try to confirm this. For example, you give a subordinate such tasks, that they just will not be able to perform in time to then, when all the deadlines have already come out, to help "prove" themselves once again that they can not be trusted.
This may be the position of the strict, authoritarian parent. And might be related to your self-esteem: You constantly need to prove to yourself that you are better than others, because, really, you're not very confident.
the Desire for control is the need to reduce levels of anxiety. Perhaps you have a high level of underlying anxiety. This is when the mother was unsure of himself, his world, or were not ready to be a mom. And she is very worried or gave a lot of installs: "do Not go here", "What are you doing?!" "Be careful". Moreover, that child so difficult to understand in this world — mom voltage. The child does not feel secure. And then this anxiety becomes the basic part of the character, is strengthened.
the Fear of communicating with subordinates, fear of losing respect
This fear, not generally recognized, but very prevent the leader to be effective. There are cases when the leaders are so afraid to talk with their subordinates that are specifically hired someone to communicate with them through this man. This is especially true of those subordinates who below on several levels. Then in the course are excuses like "they have chiefs, they will tell me everything".
it also Happens that the head is afraid to ask again, properly understood his subordinate. Then, of course, leads to bad results.
For this fear is the desire to create the perfect image. But this image — it is not viable. Ideal image is the deity, which can only speak through intermediaries. It is a wall built to no one guessed what I really am. This inaccessibility often hides inconsistency.
It is a wall built to no one guessed what I really am.
What to do with fear?
Ask yourself, what is the basis of your fear? About what this fear is about the past, present, future? Why? Reminds you of what?
If you understood the reason of his fear, necessarily speak it. If possible — share with someone that understood. You will spend much more energy if I keep the fear inside. Make a plan for how you will get rid of it and you need to take.
Sometimes, the true reason for fear you have not understood. This means that your mind blocks out any memories because they are too painful or were once. In this case, you should consult a professional psychologist.
Fears are very revealing. You broadcast them not only at work but in life. For example, your desire for control can spread to your children or your relationship. But self-doubt can manifest itself in failed attempts to make new friends. You can try to trace it, if you are attentive to yourself and your actions.
as soon As fear gets the necessary attention and respect to what he wants to convey, it dissolves or at least weakens, because its function is executed.
What you can read on the subject
I. Melodic. "While you were trying to be God... Painful way of Narcissus".
I. Yalom. "Staring into the sun. A life without fear of death."
K. Izard. "Psychology of emotions".
V. Pichugin. "The wisdom of fear. How to understand and overcome your fear?".
https://ik1.by/articles/345
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