Everyone wants to be understood. One of such ways, in my opinion, is mediation.
there are two kinds of understanding and use.
the First type of mediation is reduced to almost negotiations and litigation practices in its simplest form. Their goal is to resolve the conflict externally, and people even after the mediation may hate each other (after court). In such a negotiation (not in any way mediation!!!) the process is always the plaintiff and the defendant, the victim and the offender. Idea: people come for help, suspecting nothing, and for you it is already "violator". As the song Kirkorov - "without trial, I am guilty, guilty..."
Here there is a violation of basic mediation the principles of equality and neutrality.
the Second type – understanding mediation. In this approach, we work with the interests of the people and seek that both sides were "successful". Here is the model «I – OK, You – OK”. After understanding the mediation people feel for each other hatred. For the mediator to understand the approach there are no bad and good customers.
I'm going to talk about the second kind of mediation, because for me it is not only the resolution of the conflict through third - neutral - party, but the road of human development, revival of its potential.
So, what is mediation?
Mediation – the negotiations between the conflicting parties with the participation of mediator-mediator – with the aim of finding a solution that satisfies both sides. Mediation is a mediation between two points of view or parties with the purpose of finding and adopting effective solutions to the conflicting parties.
the Basis for mediation are the three "whale".
1. The principles of mediation
2. Emotions
3. Communication
mediation is a way of resolving disputes with the assistance of the mediator, on the basis of the voluntary consent of the parties, in order to achieve mutually acceptable solutions. On the terms mutual respect and acceptance of the rights of each party to protect their interests. the
In Mediation is not "pull the blanket over himself," and cooperate and respect each other. No "guilty" or "right" - all are equal.
the Purpose of mediation-the peaceful settlement of the dispute to the satisfaction of the interests of the parties on the terms drafted by the parties themselves.
Key tasks of mediation:
• neutralization of negative consequences of the dispute (conflict);
• develop a realistic plan of future action, taking into account the interests of both sides;
• the awareness of the parties dispute the consequences of their own decisions;
• saving money, time, emotional and psychological costs of the parties for resolution of the conflict.
One of the most important moments of mediation - opening remarks of the mediator. Each mediator builds his speech as it is convenient. But still, observing the main points is an explanation of the parties to the conflict principles and rules of mediation.
Offer an example of a speech of a mediator, which anyone can change "itself" based on your understanding of the principles of mediation (important to outline all the principles of mediation).
“Hello! Please, sit down. My name is Anastasia. I will be your mediator. Please introduce yourself so I know how to contact You.
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are you Familiar with what is mediation?
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Then for the sake of clarity and transparency that you and I are going to do in the mediation process, talk about its main points (HERE PROVIDED by the PRINCIPLE of TRANSPARENCY AND clarity of PROCEDURES).
In the mediation are basic principles that all members must abide by. The first principle is voluntary participation in the procedure, exiting, etc. In this regard, I want to ask you:whether on its own you came here? (HERE CHECKED COMPLIANCE with the principle of VOLUNTARINESS)
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in order For the mediation procedure was successful you need to be interested in resolving your conflict and cooperate with each other and with me. Did you get that? Do you agree with this? (PRINCIPLE of COOPERATION)
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you both have equal opportunity to Express their needs and interests. For me you are equal in all respects. In this regard, I would ask you to respect the principle of respect for all participants of the mediation. Do you understand the meaning of the word «respect» whether you want to update it? (the PRINCIPLE of EQUALITY, NEUTRALITY AND RESPECT)
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a Procedure in which you participate, is confidential, so anything that is going to happen and be discussed must remain within the walls of this room. Do you agree with this? (CONFIDENTIALITY)
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I, as the mediator is a neutral party, and will not stand on the sides. My goal in mediation is to listen, understand you and identify your interests and needs. Whether you want
to settle your conflict, will depend on you. Did you get that? (the PRINCIPLE of RESPONSIBILITY of the PARTIES AND the MEDIATOR)
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It was the principles on my part. You may want to discuss any points meaningful to you and enter them as rules. We can discuss the organizational moments of our meeting. How much time you can dedicate, whether breaks as you solve the issue with the phones, etc.
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in Addition to the principles and rules I want to tell you about what will happen in the mediation process. From the beginning, you tell us about what came to Express their positions, and I will listen to you. At this stage, I will ask you to communicate only with me. Next, we will work on issues that are important to you. Each of you will formulate personal questions, and then you try to formulate General questions. Next, we will determine the interests and needs of each.
if All you understood? If you want to clarify something?
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Then I propose to start. Decide, please, who was the first to begin to speak…”
It should not be too long!!! In bold do not need to say!
by the Way, even in ordinary conversation (professional or personal) use of this algorithm can be useful – disappear many misunderstandings and blocks.
So meditation is the technology and application of mediation principles in all spheres of life, undoubtedly, will be useful to everyone.
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