Trauma (from the Greek. - “Rana”, “damage”), both physical and psychological, occur frequently, causing freeze from horror and suddenness of the event. As a rule, therapy are people who have suffered as a result of certain adverse circumstances or actions of third parties. And cultural tradition gives us a clear idea how to deal with suffering is to give them care, to help, to comfort, to empathize and to facilitate their prompt return to the current social context.
But there are still some participants travmoopasno events to which society is not so loyal is those who are directly responsible for the injury. This so-called «aggressor».
If you say the word «aggressor», involuntarily there are associations with engagement, trespassing, crime, violent action. Do aggression is usually active, it has a vector and the application of some effort (note that the word “aggression” is lat. root ‘agreddi” meaning “to come up with a goal…”).
the Possible consequence of aggression may be a violation of the integrity and boundaries of physical and psychological space of another person. If such breach was done intentionally (deliberately), as in the case of a criminal, knowingly commits a crime for personal gain, we rightly resist such aggression as inappropriate deviant behavior.
But it turns out that in the same category of “Les Miserables” serve and those who caused harm to another person unwittingly (unintentionally, accidentally). So who are the "de jure" aggressors, and “de facto” - “without guilt”?
we, as kids, to celebrate, took without permission a somebody else's child's toy and has received the censure and condemnation of the adult – “shame on you, you bad!”. It is we, the teenagers, played in the ‘war games" in the midst of which accidentally struck “supposed” to an opponent in a game of serious physical harm. We, the tired parents, who in the heat of passion once hit her child and every time you remember later about the incident with a shudder. It is we, the drivers of the vehicle that committed the hit-and-run, which is contrary to the rules of the road, ran across the road in an unspecified place or on forbidding signal of the traffic light. This is what we, good citizens, harming the offender in self defense. It is we, the representatives of dangerous professions, for example, train drivers, made arrival on the person who decided to settle accounts with his own life, for example «Anna Karenina». From the words “we” - chills and a desire to make known "PAH-PAH-PAH" left shoulder…
It is to this category of people applied the concept of “injury to the aggressor", which will also indicate the violation of functioning of the individual at the following levels:
• biological / physical (somatization, sleep disorders and appetite, etc.);
• psychological (anxiety, toxic wine, agitation, desensitization, depression, etc.);
• personal (jealousy, insecurity, vulnerability, helplessness, etc.);
• social (the restlessness, the craving for solitude, isolation, etc.).
If you experience episodes of injury to the aggressor is collision: sudden collapse of the background, the former picture of the world suddenly changed and emerged new ideas about themselves (new Personality), to which there was no time to prepare. In the end, confusion, shock and a whole galaxy of frozen feelings and unfinished actions: a moment ago he was a happy child who just wanted to play with someone else's toy, but received the status of “bad boy”, with whom it is impossible to be friends; just recently, it's just a driver, was riding in the car for their business, and now - a person having in his history of hitting a pedestrian (which, remember, fell under the wheels in a result of his own negligence).
the range of feelings of the aggressor, shame, toxic guilt, fear of punishment, condemnation, loneliness, feelings of rejection, despair.
normally, injury to the aggressor is formed when the person was not close to significant support figures, one that is able to accept strong feelings. And if one travmatik came to therapy – this is an important event. As a rule, these stories do not go in the focus of work in the initial phase of therapy, as they strongly present stigma of shame, toxic guilt and isolation.
What can I do in therapy for this client:
1. To provide a safe space for self-disclosure.
2. To provide unconditional non-judgment and acceptance of customer history that is as ambiguous and complex situation.
Here the therapist it is important to understand their moral and ethical principles, according to which he evaluates their willingness to work with customer's request, or he will take rejection, thanking the customer for their trust and redirecting to a colleague.
3. To consider the intentions of the client that existed prior to the date of the injury (“what do you want?, “what are your intentions?”), to legalize his right to the confused and diverse feelings, to establish focus for the blocked feelings and pending actions, which will bring vitality and activity of the action (work with body awareness).
At this stage is often denial and resistance – “How?” “what??”, “Why me???”. This question directs the client to another “responsible” for the situation - the fate, the Creator of the universe or the victim. This is the place for escalation of their own suppressed aggression, pain, fear and despair (so, the client-the driver lives their anger on the pedestrian, who was in the wrong place - “Why… you ever run across!!!”). Here are the questions to significant figures, which was not there to give the necessary support and support.
4. To be competent and to broaden the context of the episode the injury, understanding that it is formed under conditions of multiple social contacts (what did you think about the client and his family, the victim and his relatives, authorities and the professional community to which the client belongs, the law, the religion of the client). This field interactome client.
5. Recognition of the situation changes as permanent (the mountain), and a gradual transition to the stage of redemption (what can I do: for the victim, his relatives, and other involved in the event of people?).
each client has a unique paycheck: one will reimburse material damage, the other will apologize, another – will offer assistance to relatives etc. In this place only pride (ideas about the injustice of remorse) can be a stumbling block, not allowing to let it go in the background.
6. Building a new world with further socialization, when it will be possible to tell in the close environment of his sad history, which you're not so perfect, but shame is gone, as paid in full and no longer need to look away…
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