the INTERPRETATION of EACH other
One person taught me this idea, the second clearly has fixed it on the behavioral level.
All psychologists know well that we communicate and interact with their own projections of the environment. Objective reality - the thing is irrefutable as well as unprovable. This means that often we are not interacting with the person and his image in our head. Feel the difference?
an Easy example of projection: if I'm anxious, I'm going to assume that all seek to touch me, to awaken my anxiety. People will interact with us normally, but to calculate and to isolate the unconscious, we will only alarm signals. We will pay attention to it and worry more and more. The projection can be calculated precisely through the universality of the illusion: we perceive a negative or positive impact from the environment, like everything in the world conspired to be one or other. As you know, projection, as well as any other psychological defense, can be wrapped in their favor. But is not about that.
There is a certain probability that everything, what is our source is a collection of our own projections. However, wanting to touch each other on a personal level, choosing the knowledge of another, we choose to lose our own the illusion on the other, and find out what he prefers to imagine the world as his image. To know actually what he wants other than to estimate for him, based on their own vision and understanding,"as it should be”. We are similar, of course, but everyone is so its “as it should be” that while the profession of psychotherapist is relevant.
the Unraveling of illusions about each other is a complex mechanism of interaction, which was fraught with many mutual mistakes. And yet, without this it is impossible to know any true friendship or true love. It is impossible to experience true intimacy. Impossible to get closer to understanding the Real Other. A genuine process of mutual learning, when it is begun, can sometimes result in the breakup for two main reasons:
- I'm not ready to learn more about the other. I like the way that I already knew, but the Other doesn't want to be part of this image;I'm not ready for what they learned about each other. I'm not ready and/or willing to interact.
the Collapse in these cases can be made, but it is always inevitable. Psychotherapy couples (married or not) partly consists of mutual adaptation and interfacing of new images each other.
But what is the main idea cemented in me two persons from the first sentence? The process of knowing the other begins with a mutual agreement about “elementary” concepts. “Elementary” in quotes because try it now with any chosen man together make the word “Apple”, then write or draw their answers and show each other. Well, it seems? What to say about such complex things as the same love, friendship, trust… the Concepts, determine which you own outright is unlikely. It is a multidimensional construction, opening and the knowledge of which leaves, perhaps, all life. In addition, we must not forget that everything is dynamic within a person, it changes and is updated every moment of its existence, it today the Apple is red, tomorrow green… the Nuances underlying the construct of relations.
What do we know about each other?
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