And it so happens that you have sex not for the sake of sex?
it happened to me before quite often - when I agreed to have sex with your partner without worrying burning desire to do it. Yes, sometimes "the appetite comes during a meal", but more often after such contacts the dry residue was present irritation on yourself or partner, or the more intense the sense of betrayal itself.
Reasons to agree could be different, "He wants, but it is not difficult", "it is Necessary as-that to explain why I don't want", "Suddenly my refusal will lead to a cooling in our relationship?", "And if it is a signal that I never want him like that?". Too many uncomfortable topics and issues. Easier to turn off those feelings and thoughts and to go where less trouble. br>
Now, having learned to listen to myself, feeling its value, having a skill set the border carefully, explaining to the partner what is happening to me, I'm not forcing yourself into sex if you don't want that. I largely, though not entirely, managed to clean the sex from those motives which do not apply to him. And maybe that's why he became much more resource, is lived as a manifestation of the world itself-the real as touching a powerful natural source that lives inside each of us.
what is this About my text? Actually - about pragmatism. Under the pragmatism I have in mind the desire to put sexuality in the service of, anything else, use it as a means to something, as a tool of manipulation, as a screen behind which cannot be seen I have some.
the Purpose can be, for example, to keep the man, to keep the status, to feel successful alpha male or a desirable woman, not to create conflict, to tactile warmth, which was lacking in childhood, to attract attention, to feel the power..
There are thousands of reasons to have sex, although the sex itself, and making him the mediator for something.
is it Possible to still have fun? Yes, of course. But it seems that you come in an expensive French restaurant, where you laid a table of delicious cuisine and start eating brought a hamburger from McDonald's.
And I'm not saying it's bad. Rather, I propose to explore the causes that force to do so. For example, to see inside nedlasting child and give him what he needs (intimacy, acceptance, warmth, sense of belonging, etc.), and not to drag him into bed with a little-enjoy your stay man or woman, just because it gives the desired tactility and affection. br>
Yes, sex can be used as a bargaining chip, reaching with his help the desired. But it is important to realize, however, that there is some pragmatism, you lose the contact (whether the contact with the partner, with ourselves or with some kind of energy within yourself) and love leaves.
And you can do more nice hearing your true desires (and unwillingness), and listening to them. This shows his loyalty and strengthens the love of ourselves, which further significantly improves the quality of the contact with the partner.
would You like to explore limitations on the ability to enjoy your sexual energy and get pleasure from its manifestations? Some of them I described in their texts, is available here. These and other themes we can consider in more detail at our meetings. Come!