Paradoxical theory of change developed by American psychiatrist Arnold Beisser. He not only proposed a theoretical concept, but throughout his life showed how changes occur. At the age of 25 years old athletic man contracted polio and was paralyzed. All his attempts to resist physical illness, to deny his or any way to return to his former life failed. Life changes began to occur only with the adoption of the situation.
so, what is the paradoxical theory of change? The idea is the following-change happens only when one becomes what he is, not when he tries to become what he is not.
to Cheat this theory is impossible, you can't just say to yourself: “Yes, Yes, Yes, I accept myself and my shortcomings, I am really short-tempered". No changes will happen, people will remain impulsive. You have to accept yourself and admit: “Yes, I have a temper and I get annoyed as much as I need. I have such a mentality, so others must forgive me. I'll warn my friends about the fact that sometimes my reaction will be negative and unpredictable – “I am a man and nothing can do about it, forgive me!”.
Precisely at the moment when a person recognizes and accepts their flaws and character traits, it will all change. This is the paradox-in order to change something, you need to accept what is now. In addition, it is important to understand that you cannot change in life.
OU “seal” conducted a rather interesting experiment – the hands and feet of the military bind and throw them in a pool depth of three meters. The winner will be the only one who will accept it and will not resist – such behavior will quietly sink to the bottom and climb up for air.
the whole concept of paradoxical changes is very important in psychology, because clients who come for psychological help, desperately want quick and tangible results. And if the psychologist is involved in this task, these changes do not occur. The therapist must stay in a situation yourself, helping customer to deploy and more aware of your process and not trying to change it.
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