In the laboratory were carried out the following experiment. In a separate room played a mom with a three year old child. Next, the experimenter through headphones. I asked mum to make a person immobile. Mom froze, and the baby immediately began to worry, began to touch the face of his mother's arms, to cuddle up to her, saying, “Mom, it's me! Look at me!” after some time, the mother “alive”, they continued to play and the child has calmed down.
6 months the experimenter brought the child into the same room, and it was noted that the child increased anxiety and levels of stress hormones. Like the body of a child was something that was telling him: “This is a dangerous place, don't come here!”
If we reject, without notice, withhold your love and attention in the body a stress. Recurring chronic stress leads to a stable physiological and psychological changes.
we all Have a chronic stressful experience. There is not recycled, not past trauma stuck in the body. And at a time when we are trying to live normally, to be like everyone else, to keep up with the flow of life, our hormonal system, our brain goes crazy. Stuck in the body of the injury, does not give us rest. And then there are panic attacks, depression, apathy, alcohol, drugs, unmotivated aggression, impotence.
a Sequence of fixation, injury to the body like this:
1. Under some circumstances, the child receives emotional trauma. This occurs most often in early childhood when the child is helpless, weak, dependent on the adult.
2. After the trauma are feelings. Fear of rejection, resentment - I do not like wine before the for adults, anger at the adult, for themselves, for the whole world.
3. Injured feelings shape our identity that accompanies us throughout life. We think about ourselves:
- I am weak, abandoned, lonely, stupid, helpless, etc.
- I – the Victim, a nonentity, a mediocrity, the Outcast, the Weak, Invisible, etc.
since forming our self-esteem.
4. Further included is the body that understands that we are in danger and begins to save us through the manifestation of instincts. And then we lie all day, run away, get sick, hysteria, silence, attack, freeze, etc.
the Instincts are different, and them to enjoy and live happily. But we often use one or two. We make decisions that shape our lives. For example.
- to get attention, you have to cheer.
- So I won't be rejected should be friends, to smile, to suffer, to be silent.
5. We do not do anything without benefit to themselves. As a rule, the main benefit from the retention of injury: not to answer for my life, to grow, to shift responsibility to another. And often the benefit is stronger than the desire to get rid of abnormal behavior.
This is a General scheme. While working with a psychologist filling all will be different. There are different insights, different decisions that need to be taken to deal with the trauma and start a new life.
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