With such turn too many.
There are many techniques, one way or another, allowing you to take a sober look at the situation. One of them is “ethical core values”.
Ethical core values are those values, which for you is fundamentally important in marriage.
They are all different.
E.g.
- someone is fundamentally important that the partner was faithful and they are willing to close their eyes to the use of alcohol (drink house okay);
- someone is extremely important that husband is well earned, provided the needs of the family and they are willing to ignore the fact that it's not right (often hear "all men change. The important thing is that we all have" or "well, I will leave what? With two children to my mother in the bedroom? All mugs children cancel? The car keys on the table and the children on the bus carry? well, no")... This does not mean that the woman likes the role of the deceived wife. This means that it is not its core value, otherwise so many excuses would not exist. To provide present and future of the children more important to her than loyalty to a spouse.
- someone it is important that the spouse was a good father, loved children and spent much time with them. And they are willing to ignore the fact that he earns little;
- someone important is passion; without it does not seem to be life. Have spark, have passionate relationships, and you can close your eyes to the fact that the partner stopped in development.
- someone important to fulfill your potential and to reach the heights in career....
by the Way, love is also not all is a basic value. Someone important to build a strong stable family with reliable man. Or "solubilize" when love has brought more suffering than joy or have seen enough examples and choose another.
Write out your core values. And next values of the spouse.
let's See how they overlap?
for Example, you have core value is to work and go up the ladder, and husband is extremely important that the wife was a homemaker. You wanted one child, and her husband, it is important to have a large family. He is ready to close eyes to many things, but he is important.
it Often happens that both spouses are wonderful people, but marriage is bursting at the seams. The case of the basic values. When they are different, it is very difficult to find a compromise. Conversely, if the underlying values are the same, the resource to save the relationship will be found.
Write at least 10 basic values. Let's see how many of them coincide with the partner.
And 10 signs that a marriage can be saved
1. You both realize that nobody is perfect. You understand that it is not only the partner has flaws, but You are. You understand that there are no people with only one advantages;
2. There are reasons to stay. When you once again considering to leave, still there are many reasonable reasons to stay. When people reached the point of no return - no reason to stay no more;
3. You still have common values. Here are the most basic, which have just been considered;
4. You together well. Yes, it happens. People are different, different actions, grievances. But if in spite of this, in those moments when You're around, You can smile and be calm, then everything can be recovered.
5.The idea of divorce occurs only when you're fighting. The quarrel took place, and the thought of the impossibility of cohabitation is also gone;
6. You both believe that spark can return, and I know that I can find a resource;
7. Despite the crisis in the relationship, You trust the partner;
8. You understand that it is better be happy than right.
9. You still have sex;
10. You are both willing to work on saving the relationship.
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