“Often, stressful situations become as such due to the fact that the given subject of high importance”, or approximately so wrote Hans Selye. I remembered this quote “one day" - something too many recent questions about school anxiety!
“My son - a brave and cheerful boy. But it's not for school. He was afraid to meet u, very worried before the test, worried that you will forget or you'll be late”.
“sometimes the Daughter's not herself - nervous, crying. I understand that it deals exclusively with school Affairs. On vacation I see a quiet child, the school also deprives her of peace, the constant complaints that are not afraid to cope with the task, not the time to solve or to write, although this does not happen, the daughter learns well”.
“the Son began to worry about school even in the classroom in preparation for school, and now in sixth grade, said that studying nothing but trouble, he will not learn a single day, if it will be left behind adults. Think about school success, he no longer thinks and learns in order to avoid trouble”.
Even before the beginning of schooling they are afraid of “no time to forget, do not handle”. In the first class anxiety comes to what the child is constantly nervous, worries, torments parents with questions “what if…” Sleep, falls down, and dirty school pants, forget your gym, lose diary… Fears and anxieties can be very diverse. What attentive parent can help the child?
first, consider:
- aren't you pushing that “the way you learn, all depends on your destiny"?do you not shame the child for failure? Don't blame him for what he is “upsets mom when carelessly writes the words"?isn't it too exalt its success, forcing the kid to earn the admiration of adults?do not compare a child with other children or myself when I was his age?
second, think, do not worry about school for your son or daughter like every day pass the "good parent"?
third, evaluate objectively if your child, the program which you choose for him?
And fourthly, listen to what emotions translates the teacher. If the teachers every failure of a pupil is a disaster, but for a child the importance of errors and failures is also increasing.
What can make an attentive parent to help your child overcome school anxiety?
- to stop too much worry about the child's education;to wonder, to ask, but not inquire of the child with passion about his school work. To take the position of “School - it happens. We learned, and you learn”.to discuss with the disturbing little that can be done in one or another difficult situation;and, of course, to work with the anxiety of the child through fairy tales.
If your strength is not obtained to reduce school anxiety - contact the psychologist.
If your child is too anxious about school, try to tell him a story. For example, such as I quote below. This story was written specifically for a boy with school anxiety. Tale gave the opportunity to discuss many issues relating to school Affairs, to develop a formula by which a child could seek help, to teach him not to be afraid to ask for help and to offer help to other children. New skills, new understanding of the situation significantly reduced school anxiety of first grade.
STUBBORN PENCIL
you Know, some items are very stubborn, well, just really! Some of the laces did not want to tie to the bow, shirt don't want to stay neatly tucked in and always strive to get out of the pants. Yes, things really are capricious and stubborn, I just know it.
one boy, let's call him Peter, once had such here a stubborn pencil. Think it was brought by the grandmother. Or maybe the father or mother - it is now clear how stubborn pencil appeared at Petit, but he did not want to do what should have been a boy! He didn't want the circles were round, squares are square, he continually broke down or have rolled under the couch.
it Seems to be nothing, but Peter was very upset about the stubborn pencil because he studied only in the first grade and wanted to do everything right, and the pencil all ports. And pencil I tease.
- That does not want to keep a straight line - and I will not! Know then!
- now ka-AK will break! Ka-AK will break three times in a row! You'll know then.
And even pencil said that Pete was especially unpleasant:
- That's ka-AK POPs up from the briefcase! Ka-AK will hide from you! Come to school - but not me! Then you will know what for me, the pencil can be trouble!
And so the pencil frightened poor Peter that he really was afraid! Was afraid that will forget the stubborn pencil and that it will have some unpleasant trouble.
One day it just happened. Whether the pencil was offended by Peter, or simply from spite and obstinacy, but he decided to hide under the carpet and hid. But Peter did not notice and went to school without a pencil.
the First lesson was mathematics. Peter prepared for the lesson - got it from the portfolio tutorial, homework, pen, ruler… And a pencil! Peter emptied portfolio - no pencil, no! He sat down at the Desk, frustrated, head, hands clasped, sits and thinks, “What now? Takeyh trouble to wait?”
Peter, are you upset? - Lisa, the neighbor's party, sympathetically looked at Petya.
I think the pencil lost… whispered the boy.
- you Want my ladies? On - this is good! - Lisa handed him a pencil.
the Pencil really was good! He was drawing circles round, squares are square and never broke! Peter can tell because of the stubborn pencil the top five in math were received, with Lisa made friends, and learned an important thing: “No such problems which cannot be solved! If he is not right - ask friends or teacher, they will help you!”
And what a stubborn pencil? And the pencil the cat had rolled under the skirting Board, so he's there and to this day gathering dust.
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