it is Very difficult to change something that is literally rooted in us mother's milk. Below I have listed the frequently encountered setup with which we work with clients.
Reading it, pay attention to your feelings that arise in you when reading.
"Why Mary may, don't you?" you're always worse than anyone.
"it is Necessary - means necessary!" without explanation, just obey!
"Why? Because!!!" without explanation, then you have reason to know something unworthy.
"are You the smartest?" - in General don't move from your "opinion", it will depreciate.
"It's all they can!" times all can, so can the achievement to put in the trash. Depreciation.
"Want - want" - the depreciation of their own desires.
"You're the character of your show?!" - the depreciation of the manifestations of the child, the willingness of the parent to meet with the dissatisfaction of the child.
"Boys don't cry!" - a ban on the feeling of sadness, resentment, etc. don't cry, of course, the big boys just drink/smoke and suffer from other forms of dependence.
"Girls don't fight!" - a ban on the feelings of anger. Good poor girl.
"what did I say?" - hanging responsibility (how would this mom have to ask who she was talking to), the formation of guilt for disobeying me.
"No sugar on rustici", "God is patient and told us", "Patience and a little effort" be patient, do not feel your body, and you will have happiness. And then long live psychosomatics.
"what Is that bad boy/girl?" - the rejection of discontent and negative feelings of their child. The formation of guilt and maybe even schizophrenia))
"All you can, but you can't" you're the worst, in General. Guilt, shame, unworthiness.
"Woe to you my onion!" no comment. You just mount the parent.
"Not going to be a good student, become a janitor!" program to failure. Stress. Dissatisfaction with their own abilities.
"How can ...?" it is not so. The child does not meet the expectations of the parent.
Said feelings? Write what occurred to you.
Very sad, but parents often spoke certain phrases that left a negative impression in us.
I collected these settings are based on practical, personal experience, watching my parents side.
A setup interfere with the lives of my clients, and we are working on.
It is not just words, is the belief that is invested in the child, and give negative results.
Let's gather positive attitudes in the comments?
What do you tell your children?
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