Три базовые мужские проблемы в отношениях с женщиной по Хорни. Это нужно знать!

Karen Horney - netregistry analyst, therefore, of men's fears she considers from the point of view of the male attachment to his mother and erotic feelings for her. And its findings accurately reflect my own experience with men. So, let's start.

No. 1. The fear of the unapproachable woman.

Care about the boy in early childhood in most cases is vested in the mother, so women a man gets used receives not only the warmth, care and tenderness, but also all the earliest and, therefore, the strongest stress, injuries and bans! To get rid of these early experiences is very difficult, and when you consider that, for example, >50% of Russians believe cause mental illness, evil eye and spell, then talk about the fact that in the near future dynamics of human consciousness will radically change for the better is very difficult.
Traces of early painful experiences associated with a woman who saved almost every man. This is especially noticeable if you look as far as men more relaxed in his circle, that is, in the sports, entertainment, education, conflict than in a circle of women. They become much more relaxed and direct. And, of course, that all the restrictions and pain of childhood is stronger manifested in relationships with women, since it is closest to the relationship with the mother.

No. 2. The idea of the sanctity of women.

the cult of the virgin. At first glance it seems that this attractive idea, which has beneficial effects on future family life. In reality, no. This setup leads to the conviction that decent, respectable woman is asexual, and want it means to humiliate. Accordingly, the man not in a relationship with a woman to achieve joy and harmony. He has to find the woman of easy virtue opposite side. He can love and appreciate his wife, but can not want, in the end, feels very awkward.
it is interesting that the proportion of women aware of men like this setup and can even turn a blind eye, because they themselves, for whatever reasons, frigid. However, even in this case, it leads to dissatisfaction in the relationship on both sides.
I Must say that in contemporary sexist societies men are often the main idea is that a woman's instinctive and, in fact, dirty. She can't be trusted. These men dream about the virgin. While they themselves can't deal with her full-fledged sex as you want and gone on vicious bitch at the same time so vehemently despise. br>
No. 3. Fear not satisfy a woman.

In the sex in particular and relationships in General. This fear is biological. Excited and penetrates the woman. He this as it proves every time its worth it is the only way to get her pregnant. The woman do not have to prove anything, it can engage in a sexual act even as frigid, while pregnant and give birth.
Men fear not to satisfy a woman very common. Often, mothers do it form the sons osmeivaya masculinity of their child and (or) his father. A boy loses faith in himself. This leads to constant fluctuations in self-esteem in relationships with women. The man becomes overly sensitive to any frustration of the wife. If that's the best that he is capable of it is not satisfied if he doesn't satisfy her sexually, it deals a severe blow to his self-esteem. And this, in turn, will give him the urge to humiliate the wife in response and undermine her confidence. All this creates the ground for future problems.

Many of the problems that we have in the marriage relationship acquired in childhood and manifests itself no matter whom we choose as partners. And the less we are motivated to overcome it, to evolve, more focus on partner issues, the harder it becomes to understand something about yourself and change your way of thinking and a pattern of relationship building. As a consequence, the more uncomfortable we feel in the relationship.

Everything is compounded by the fact that the described problems are often not recognized, and their source and all lies in the unconscious region. But all these features of children's relationship with the mother will directly lead to tension, conflict in adult relationships, even to disgust, hatred, and motivation to seek additional discharge outside the family, in particular in the work, the company of men or the company of other women, whose demands are not afraid and in whose presence a man is no pressure on the unconscious perspective. This explains that often, a man is formally married, but a real pleasure, relief and happiness finds with his mistress.

good luck and love! Appreciate each other and consider aspects of self-development of yourself and your partner - this will help to build a healthy, strong and happy relationship!

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