Internal honesty - the first step to change


Internal honesty – the first step to any change. It is the primary tool, the key is to manage your life.

the Internal integrity necessary to first all recognize that there is something that does not suit me. "I'm fine!"- you can hear from many people, but should ask some specific questions about their lives, as it turns out, what not all so "well".

Domestic and honesty needed to admit that I'm not just "tired", "I feel unwell", "health concern", "not in the mood", and that is something that makes me tired, hurt, anxious, sad, etc. And the answers may be different: I do not like relationships, work, lack of fulfillment, loneliness...

Honesty with yourself will help you understand why my life looks exactly looks like why I was in such circumstances and not others, what choices and decisions I did. And this is the main difficulty. We often prefer to lie to ourselves to not see the most important thing: the responsibility for our lives is up to us. We are scared. We remember very well that as a child for misconduct or some action, is unacceptable from an adult's perspective, we are scolded, punished, blamed, lectured, taught, anything, but not allowed to take responsibility and to overcome the consequences of their actions... And as adults we (to not feel guilt) prefer to look for other perpetrators in our troubles and problems, or just not change anything.

But there is one secret to be honest within yourself and not fall into the guilt/slabiciune/humiliation/shame/aggression etc: allow yourself to do nothing for some time after an honest conversation with yourself. Agree with you, in return honesty you will continue to live as they lived, until you have the strength to start to change anything. For example, you admit that the work which you gave 10 years of my life, you don't like, you really want to leave the profession. Promise yourself not write a statement the next day. If you found that marriage has long ceased to bring joy, allow yourself to continue to flow to them like this for some time, do not rush to break off relations or to arrange a heated discussion with a spouse. This will save you from rash decisions and reduce the risk not to see an honest recognition of the whole picture entirely.

Sometimes we are happy and to be honest, but I do not understand what. This is also a trick of our psyche that allows you to leave things as they are. In this case, you just need to ask yourself the right questions. It's not easy actually, but if there is a striving for honesty, the right question will sound in your life: psychologist, doctor, friends, colleagues, books, and even the occasional post on social media...

Choosing what to do, what to wear, what to eat, what to say, making a decision somewhere to go, someone to meet, to agree to something, ask yourself questions: why did I choose it? and I really want this? What I really want?..

Be honest with yourself in the details, and you will be able to trust ourselves in the most difficult and critical periods of his life.

Pugacheva-Anna Kovyneva

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